Dreamcatcher
by WildConstantia
Summary: He never thought that it would end up like this... Brad/Ash
1. Chapter 1

I wrote this one a few years back and am revamping it for . Please note that I do not own these characters. They are the property of HarperCollins.

Prologue: 

I held the small black box in my hands as if it was some rare treasure. In truth, it scared me. What it symbolized terrified me. I was far from ready for the commitment, the enormity of it.

And yet I felt compelled to take that step and ask Lavinia to marry me.

Leaning back in my chair, I let the box slide from my fingers until it rested on the mahogany surface of the desk.

I knew why I was asking her. It didn't come down to love or even physical attraction. I barely even knew what those things were. It was because Lavinia Hotchkins-Ross would make a damn fine Townsend. She was rich and came from a family of similar social status as my own. Not to mention that she looked pretty damn good next to a horse in the winner's circle. It all made sense. Even my father liked her.

I heard footsteps outside my office and quickly hid the box from sight. It was just as well I did that because a second later, Lavinia herself stood in my doorway. "We need to talk," She told me bluntly.

I was surprised. She was uncharacteristically frazzled. "Oh? What about?"

"You. Me. Us." Lavinia started to pace around the room, again something I wasn't used to seeing. Whatever she had to say to me must've been big.

"Relax Lavinia," I said. "Just tell me."

She stopped and turned to face me. "I have a big problem and with the concept of 'us'. I don't think such a thing can even exist."

"Well, would you care to enlighten me?" I wished she'd just get to the point. I wasn't in the mood for a game of verbal ping-pong.

"There can never be an 'us' as long as you continue to obsess about Ashleigh Griffen. Quite frankly, I don't see _that _ending anytime soon."

"Are you insane?" I spat, rising from my chair. "I am not obsessed with her. I don't even like her!" I was so shocked, I knew that I was running the risk of losing my composure.

She shook her head. "That's not how I see it. Anyway, I've met someone else. Someone who'll be totally devoted to me." Implying of course, that I never was.

"Well… shit, Lavinia. Why didn't you just tell me that instead of making up some crap about Ashleigh Griffen?" I was angry. Beyond angry. How dare she use Ashleigh as an excuse to end it between us?

"It's not crap and you know it." Lavinia said calmly, looking happy with my reaction. "Just face it. We're over. Done."

A vision of the black box hidden in my drawer filled my head. "Just leave." I flung my hand at her dismissively. "And make sure to take all your shit with you."

She left and I just stood there, stunned.

-1-

I didn't publicize the break up. My wounded pride wasn't able to take much more of a beating. What I did do was get more actively involved in the racehorses. That included visit Whitebrook and Wonder's Pride. The chestnut was headed to the Breeder's Cup Classic at the end of October and I had big hopes for what he was capable of doing there. Townsend Acres needed him to win it.

I walked into the training barn at Whitebrook, barely seeing the other horses. A liver chestnut attempted to restyle my Polo shirt with his teeth and I swatted him away.

"Wow! Look at this. A dreamcatcher!" Samantha McLean's voice carried down the aisle.

Ashleigh's voice followed it. "It's for Pride! Talk about a devoted fan. She even made it  
herself."

"We should hang it up in his stable. Give him sweet dreams." Samantha giggled, her red hair falling in her face.

I strode up to where they were sitting outside Pride's stable. Envelopes and such littered the floor and I wondered if the horse himself had anything to do with the debris.

"Brad," Ashleigh said to me in greeting. Her eyes were cold.

I nodded and looked toward the object dangling from Samantha's hand. "You aren't hanging that shit near Pride. What if he eats it?"

"He won't," Samantha told me adamantly. "I think it's awesome!"

"Well, what you think doesn't really matter," I said, setting my jaw.

Ashleigh stood, her jaw tight. "What do you want? You're a bit late for Pride's workout."

"I know, Griffen. I just wanted to get last look at my colt before he heads for Churchill Downs." I stepped past her and leant on Pride's stable door. The horse was eating peacefully and didn't even look at me. Not that I expected any acknowledgement.

"He's in top form," Ashleigh said. "Charlie's flying across with him tomorrow."

I gave her a nod. "Speaking of travelling, what about Townsend Princess?"

"She'll be trained here, at Whitebrook," Ashleigh said instantly.

"Is that so? As far as my father and I are concerned, she'll she trained at Townsend Acres, under Ken Maddock." I smirked, getting pleasure from the irritated frown that crossed her face.

"Let's discuss this closer to the time," Ashleigh was trying hard not to let her annoyance show, but I could see through it. "When Princess is a yearling."

I raised one hand and wiggled my fingers. "See you at Churchill Downs." Grinning, I walked off, knowing that I had succeeded in rattling her.

No, Lavinia didn't know the half of it. I wasn't attracted to Ashleigh Griffen and I had no desire to get her into my bed. I had to admit that a day didn't pass when I had the urge to do something piss her off, though. Even if it was something as small as the future location of a filly.


	2. Chapter 2

-2-

I set my champagne glass down on the buffet table and glanced around the room. It was the evening before the Breeders' Cup Classic and my father was hosting one his usual get-togethers where everyone including the owners of the competition were invited. I could spot my father easily. He was chatting amicably to an elderly man I didn't recognize.

It was all very boring and unnecessary. But what made it worse was when the first question most people seemed to ask me involved Lavinia. I should've just rented some random girl to avoid the pitying looks and curious stares.

A man brushed past me with a woman at his side, aiming for the caviar and salmon rolls.  
I stepped aside and wasn't about to pay the strangers any more attention until he said,  
"These Townsends and their money make me want to laugh. It's obvious that their second-grade colt won't beat Mumbo tomorrow."

The accent was distinctly Australian and I suddenly realized who he was. Jack Wood. He was the acclaimed trainer of Mumbo Jumbo, the colt from Australia that had been a last minute entry into the Classic. The stir this created amongst racing fans was considerable. They had been a general outrage over some overrated colt stealing the thunder of American entrants.

"Oh, of course he will! The only reason Wonder's Pride has done so well lately is because none of these American horses are much of a threat," the woman laughed. Clearly, she had discovered the champagne and her words slurred slightly.

I tried not to look like I was listening, but Wood suddenly turned to me.

"Hey, who's your pick for tomorrow's race?" He asked.

I smiled and said, "It would be nice if my father's colt wins it. You were just talking about him, I believe."

Wood's face fell. "Oh… alright then," he muttered and left with his companion.

Shaking my head, I couldn't help but feel amused. Normally, everyone in the room would know that I was Clay Townsend's son. I'll admit that I was lying low because of the Lavinia Incident.

I grabbed a crab-coated thing and chewed it absently, not noticing Ashleigh Griffen until she almost knocked me over.

Her hands grabbed at my arms to steady herself while I chocked on my food.

"You really should watch where you're going. I could've died from having crab wedged in my lung," I spluttered once the lump of food had found its way down my throat.

Ashleigh let go of me. "I was distracted," she said, looking it.

I didn't even know that she was there. Usually, Ashleigh avoided any Townsend function like the plague. But, in her figure-hugging black dress and with her hair up in an elaborate style, she fitted in perfectly. It wasn't surprising that I hadn't spotted her before then.

"Where's Reese?" I asked her.

"Talking to some breeders." She pushed past me and shoved a tartlet into her mouth. From the irritation in her voice, I wondered if there was trouble in paradise.

I watched with sordid fascination as she proceeded to eat her way through most of the finger foods that my father's catering company had created. Eventually, I grabbed at her wrist before she could take another fruit kebab.

"What?" Ashleigh glared at me.

"You have to make weight tomorrow, remember?" I said, dropping her wrist.

That all too familiar look of irritation crossed her face. "Why don't you piss off?" she suggested.

"I would, but this is my house." I gave her a smirk. "You got something on your mind, Griffen? Or did somebody bribe you to put on ten pounds so that Pride will loose tomorrow?"

Ashleigh sighed dismissively and spun on her heel, ready to leave.

"Not so fast. Have you seen this Mumbo Jumbo?" I reached past her, effectively stopping her and getting a tartlet at the same time.

"I didn't know you thought of the people here like that, Brad," Ashleigh looked meaningfully at a middle aged woman who was dressed like she had Ashleigh's figure instead of a lumpy pear-shaped body.

In spite of myself, I smiled. "No, no. I was talking about the horse."

"Ah. Yes, I saw him breeze yesterday morning. Why? Are you worried about him?"

"No. I mean… I just heard some talk about him."

"People are saying he'll beat Pride." Ashleigh picked at the hem of her dress.

I nodded. "Then you've met his trainer."

"Yes. He's walking around here telling anyone who'll listen that Mumbo's the next star."

"Wanker." I shook my head.

She nodded. "He's fast though. His time was better than Pride's."

"That's irrelevant."

"I know."

I looked at her, amazed that we were actually talking instead of fighting. There was a first time for everything, I suppose. Including seeing Ashleigh looking like she was dressed to kill.

"I need to find Mike," she said and her emotions vanished from her face

Watching her walk away, I wondered if I'd had too much champagne. I seemed to be the only one who noticed that we'd actually spoken to each other without harsh words and hurtful intentions.


	3. Chapter 3

-3-

-3-

There were two words on the lips of racing fans the next day. And they weren't 'Wonder's Pride'. I resisted the temptation to cup my hands over my ears and walked as briskly as possible to the Townsend shed row.

"Eh, it's all hype. Everyone's talking about that Australian colt like he's made of different stuff than the rest of the field." Charlie Burke had his usual scowl on his face. I noticed that it deepened when he saw me approach.

Ian McLean was standing beside him looking equally perturbed. "They have reason enough, Charlie. Mumbo Jumbo was a full second faster than Pride over six furlongs! And he was getting faster at the end of it."

I didn't put in my two cents and looked in on the colt instead.

Pride had his head in the corner of his stall and was napping soundly. One hind leg was cocked and his lower lip sagged. He looked like one hell of a relaxed horse. Clearly, for once, the tension wasn't getting to him.

"Well, Pride's dropped from being the firm favorite to having odds of six to one." Samantha rushed up to her father, her face red from exertion.

I shot her a look. "Good. It's bad luck being the favorite anyway."

"It's that Jack Wood. He's walking around trackside full of talk and waving Mumbo's statistics in everyone's face," Charlie muttered.

"He can shove his statistics! Pride's not going to let that overhyped horse beat him!" Samantha said ferociously.

Charlie's old blue eyes locked on mine for a moment as he said, "The race hasn't been run yet, missy."

"Pride had better win it." I took one last look at the chestnut colt before walking away to find my father.

I stood beside the walking ring, my eyes fixed upon the Australian horse, Mumbo Jumbo. It was the first proper look I'd had and I was reluctantly impressed. The colt was amazing-looking. A solid black with an unorthodox long mane that fell against his arched neck, Mumbo Jumbo pranced beside his handler. Every muscle in his body seemed to tremble with restrained energy.

Beside me, my father whistled. "He's a really striking horse. Dammit."

"He looks like a pansy," I said, thinking that the horse seemed like some kind of supermodel. I had a vision of him posing in a studio with those big lights and cameras flashing all around him.

Ashleigh approached us, adjusting the silk cover on her skullcap as she walked.

Nodding at her, Charlie said, "Best to rate him. Save up all the energy for the homestretch. I have no clue what this black runs like."

"That's sounds good," Ashleigh said. I could see how nervous she was. She looked just like she did before Wonder's Classic.

"Don't blow it," I told her. "If Pride looses because you weren't aggressive enough…" I let my sentence trail off as my father shot me a look. I knew I was goading her, but I couldn't help myself.

Ashleigh buckled her helmet and gave me a cool look. Then she walked to Pride's shoulder and ran a hand along his sleek neck. "We'll do fine."

The call sounded for the riders to mount up and Charlie gave Ashleigh a leg up into the saddle. "Remember, take it easy," The old trainer said.

Normally, I'd watch the race from the owner's box. That day was different. I found a spot by the rail with Samantha and her father. Mike Reese joined us too, looking pale. Something felt different and, even though I couldn't put my finger on it, I was worried.

Pride was number six, beside Mumbo Jumbo in the gate. The big black loaded first, showing off his high spirits a little before letting the assistant starters lead him in. Pride walked into his slot calmly enough, followed by Ultrasound. The last few horses loaded and then a hush fell over the crowd.

"And they're off in the Breeders' Cup Classic! Count Abdul takes an early lead right along the rail with Universal Treaty and Mumbo Jumbo behind…" The announcer cried.

I spotted Pride running mid-pack, but I couldn't see much else. I hoped that he wasn't fighting Ashleigh for rein. That horse hated restraint.

"That black's going to fade before the final turn," Mike said hopefully.

I snorted. Mumbo didn't look like a horse that got tired easily. If anything, it would be our colt that was battling at the end. The black horse was running like he had jet fuel running through his veins. Pride had yet to make an appearance as Mumbo overtook Count Abdul for the lead.

"The Australian colt is in the lead now, followed two lengths back by Count Abdul with Ultrasound behind. Mid pack, Wonder's Pride is starting to make his move, passing Universal Treaty…"

"Go Pride! Give them some heat!" Samantha screamed, almost deafening me.

I shot her a look and said, "Thanks for damaging my eardrums."

"Shut up! Pride's about to challenge Ultrasound." Samantha didn't even look my way.

The big colt was charging rapidly toward the leaders now. Ashleigh appeared to have him on a relaxed rein, letting him decide on the pace. Soon, Pride was running in second place and had Mumbo in his sights.

The field swept into the final turn and I could barely breathe as Pride slowly gained on Mumbo. The gap slowly began to disappear and I felt my hands clench together with the tension.

And then a huge gasp rose from the crowd as Pride seemed to hit an invisible wall and nosedived into the dirt, sending Ashleigh somersaulting over his neck.


	4. Chapter 4

-4-

-4-

A week after the Breeders' Cup, Pride returned home with a bandaged left foreleg and strained tendons in his shoulder. It wasn't a break, but a very bad strain that would have him out of work for months. I couldn't help but feel frustrated. Even more so as the press only seemed to care about Mumbo Jumbo's 'spectacular win'.

I drove out the Whitebrook to visit Pride, mainly to give myself something to do. There were hardly any horses worth working with at Townsend Acres. At least, not until the New Year. I didn't want to admit it, but I also wanted to see Ashleigh too. She'd hurt her back pretty badly in the fall. From what I'd heard, she was wearing a brace and couldn't get on a horse until February.

I parked my Ferrari outside the racing barn and walked inside, heading straight toward Pride's stable.

"I was wondering if you cared enough to visit him." Ashleigh was standing outside the stall, her face pale and withdrawn. She looked me over tiredly.

"Of course I care. Pride is a very valuable animal." I looked in on the horse. He was picking listlessly at his hay net and I would have put money on the fact that he'd lost one hell of a lot of weight. His whole foreleg was wrapped in thick bandage.

I turned back to Ashleigh. "He seems okay, considering."

"He'll get there," she winced as she slowly sat on a chair, carefully leaning back. Her thick sweater was hiding the bulky brace but it was obvious that she was in pain.

"Are you doing ok?" I sat next to her, feeling a twinge of concern. She looked so frail.

Nodding, Ashleigh said, "It's nothing I can't deal with."

An uncomfortable silence followed, broken only by Pride's snorted breaths. I wanted to say more to her, but the words didn't come.

Finally, Ashleigh spoke, her voice soft. "I may have to ask a favor of you."

"What?"

"Pride may need to go back to Townsend Acres, much as that pains me."

"Why?" I asked and then remembered how tense she'd been at the party a few weeks ago. Those few weeks seemed like an eternity now. I figured something was wrong with the happy couple and Ashleigh no longer had any long term plans with Mike. Whatever.

"He can't stay here," she said guardedly.

"Right. You and Reese are clearly having trouble and you want to get away from here in case things turn ugly. I get it," I said with my usual tact.

She gave me an unreadable look. "It's none of your damn business," she snapped finally. Wrapping her arms around herself, Ashleigh looked away toward Pride.

I didn't push the issue. For once. "I'll pick him up when ever you're ready to move him."

The next week, I drove the rig to fetch him. Normally it wasn't a job I would've done myself, but I'd been feeling restless.

Ashleigh had him waiting outside. There was no sign of Mike. "We have to be careful," she told me, barely hiding her surprise at seeing me. I guess she expected one of the hired help.

Hank, one of the Townsend Acres grooms, took the lead from her hand. "We'll handle it, Ashleigh," he said gently.

Biting her lip, Ashleigh suddenly blurted, "I'm riding with him. Do you think you could…"

"I'll take you home once you've made sure he's settled in," I cut in, knowing what she was going to ask. I guess seven years gave me enough time to pick up on things like that.

She nodded, barely looking at me and walked to the passenger side of the track. I watched her struggle to climb into the cab for a few moments before going to assist her.

"I'm fine!" she snapped, seeing my intentions.

I put my hand on her elbow anyway and lifted her up into the seat carefully. "It's a pleasure," I said, when she scowled and didn't thank me.

The drive to Townsend Acres seemed much longer than it really was. Ashleigh's cold demeanour could've given me frostbite.

Finally, we pulled into the long, winding drive and I stopped the rig by the grass so that Pride would not have to walk on the hard gravel. Jumping out, I waited beside the passenger side of the cab, ready to support Ashleigh.

Grudgingly, she held onto my shoulder and climbed down. I felt a twinge in my chest as her hazel eyes locked onto mine for a second, but I passed it off as gas.

Once Pride was settled into his new stall, Ashleigh said, "I want to go now."

"I'll fetch my car," I said and started to walk out the barn.

She started to follow me. "I'm not a fucking invalid. I can walk there!"

I slowed down so that my pace matched hers. "Suit yourself."

"Stupid, fucking brace," she muttered savagely. I wished I knew what Mike had done to her. It was like someone had pulled off a body snatching prank and she wasn't really Ashleigh Griffen at all. What was even odder was that I liked it. I looked at her and found this new Ashleigh-hybrid appealing.

"What are you looking at?" Ashleigh snarled.

"I don't know."

"Stop staring."

"I'm not staring!"

"Maybe I should walk home."

"Sure, if you don't mind getting there next year."

She shut her mouth, which was just as well. We'd reached my Ferrari.

During that drive, all I could think of how much I wanted to kiss her. Which was pretty amusing considering how much she seemed to want to kill me. Maybe Lavinia was right.


	5. Chapters 514

-5-

Over the next few weeks, I hardly saw Ashleigh at all. It wasn't really that surprising. It wasn't like she loved going to Townsend Acres in the first place. And she was unable to drive.

It got colder and the exercise track turned to ice. Without much riding to do, I began to stagnate. It didn't help that my father wasn't there. The house was like a great, empty void that I felt lost in. I wondered around, yelling at the staff and reading dated issues of the Racing Form. What really killed me was that I missed Lavinia. Maybe not the person she was, but the company she provided.

On a particularly frigid day, I walked down to the barns in the hope that there would be something for me to do there. Even if it was just finding some minor fault to bitch about.

I stopped outside Pride's stable. The stallion gave me a sage look before resuming the intricate process of tearing his hay net apart.

He looked better. Some of the weight that he'd lost over the past month was starting to come back again. His chestnut coat was glossy with the grooming that Hank had given him.

Footsteps coming down the aisle made me turn to look to see who was approaching. It was Ashleigh, much to my surprise. She had a small packet in one hand.

"How did you get here?" I asked her, noting that she looked a lot better than when I last saw her.

"I drove. I was going crazy not knowing how my horse is doing," She told me, not even meeting my eyes.

"Our horse." I dragged a chair from the other side of the aisle and positioned it beside Pride's stable. "You seem to forget that little detail."

Ashleigh shrugged and sat down on the chair. She was breathing heavily. Obviously she'd overexerted herself.

I watched silently as she pulled out the dreamcatcher from the packet. Her fingers brushed the woven thread lightly.

"Why did you bring that? It's one thing to hang that shit up in your own barn, but don't even try to put it up here," I said brusquely.

She looked up at me. "God, Brad. Why do you always have to be so difficult?"

"Why do you always have to find ways to piss me off?" I retorted.

"Anyway, I'm too sore to hang it up. Would you…" she held the dreamcatcher toward me, lost for words for a moment. "Do you think you could hang it up?" She finished finally.

I took it from her, but made no move to do as she asked. "Why is this so important to you?" I tugged on one of the feathers.

"It's not just important to me. It's important to Samantha too. She asked me to hang it up here." Ashleigh shifted in the chair.

I examined the kitsch thing, wondering if she really believed in its abilities. And Pride was a horse! Horses don't dream anyway!

"I'll be right back," I told Ashleigh and went to the office, grabbing a pin off the notice board.

The smile on her face when she realized what I intended to do was radiant. "Thank you! Oh, thank you so much!" She exclaimed.

"Just don't tell anyone I agreed to this," I muttered, wondering myself why I had. Maybe it was because I didn't feel like fighting about it anymore. I had felt so drained the past few weeks. For no good reason at all. It wasn't like I was busy.

"It's almost Christmas," Ashleigh said suddenly. "Will your father be back for it?"

I laughed bitterly. "No. He's got more important things to do." My father had been so distracted with his overseas affairs lately, I was beginning to wonder if he even spared a thought for Townsend Acres.

"Oh," Ashleigh said uncomfortably. She looked like she wanted to say something else, but was unsure of how to say it. I spared her the trouble.

"Look, it's no big deal. I'm getting used to being alone."

"Well, I'll be here in Christmas Day. With carrots for Pride, Dominator and Belle." Ashleigh mumbled. "It'll sure beat having an overdose of sympathy from my family."

I couldn't even imagine what that was like.

Ashleigh glanced outside and gasped. "It's snowing! I should head home." She got up slowly, holding her side with one arm.

"I'll take you. My father's jeep will handle the roads better than your car. You can give me a call when the weather's cleared and I'll pick you up to fetch your car." The words seemed to come from nowhere, but I didn't try very hard to prevent myself from saying them. Truth was, I didn't want her to drive when she still looked so fragile.

She gave me a grateful look. "I'm glad that some other being has invaded your body. I mean, you're actually being nice. It's a refreshing change."

I raised my eyebrows, trying to look offended. "I'm always nice! What are you talking about?"

A giggle escaped her body and then I drove her home along the snow dusted roads of that alternate universe where Ashleigh and I talked to each other and dreamcatchers held hidden powers.

-6-

Christmas arrived with heavy snow and a bitingly cold wind. I lounged around the house, my head filled with thoughts of self-pity. God, I was lonely. It was amazing how big that house could feel.

"We wish you a merry Christmas…" I sang sourly to myself, fixing up a drink from the well-stocked bar. If I was going to spend Christmas alone, I might as well make a real day of it and get concussingly drunk.

And then the phone rang.

"You said I could call you when I needed a lift." Ashleigh's voice was oddly a welcome sound.

I propped the phone against my ear and said, "I was wondering when you'd call. I expected it to be sooner."

"My parents liked the idea of me not having a car."

"Oh, Merry Christmas by the way." I took a swig of my drink and set it aside.

Her laugh sounded forced. "You too. So, can you pick me up? Please?"

I told her I would and put the phone down, giving my cocktail a disappointed glance. "I shall return," I said to the beverage and grabbed the Wrangler's keys.

*~*~*~*

The Griffen place was festooned with cars. Obviously, every person they knew had stopped by. I wondered why Ashleigh seemed so desperate to leave and then I remembered her comment about too much sympathy.

"That was so smothering!" Ashleigh exclaimed when she got into the seat beside me. "I just couldn't take it anymore."

"Who are all those people anyway?" Shoving the car in gear, I began to slowly negotiate the snow-strewn driveway.

She rolled her eyes. "Family and friends who we've known for so long they might as well be family. Ian McLean and Samantha were there too."

We lapsed into silence, Ashleigh staring out the window while I concentrated on the road.

"How's Princess?" I asked her, randomly thinking of the filly. I had no idea why, but I suddenly had an image of the chestnut horse standing in the winner circle. But, Princess's first race was well over a year away.

"Growing in leaps and bounds. She's going to be as big as Pride." Ashleigh looked proud.

"I really must actually get out of the car when I'm at your place and see her."

"Yeah, she's looking good. But, you'll be able to see her plenty soon. Maddock will do a good job training her."

I never thought I'd hear those words, but I didn't comment on it.

Ashleigh continued, "I had always hoped for Charlie and I to train her…" Suddenly, a tear rolled down her cheek and she sobbed once, a shuddering gasp that seemed to shake her whole body.

"What? What is it?" I was glad that we'd arrived at Townsend Acres. I stopped the car and turned toward her.

She held her face in her hands. "Charlie… he passed away last night. That was another reason why I had to leave my house. They… were all talking about him…. I couldn't take it anymore."

I wanted to hold her, but I couldn't. Instead, I rubbed her back awkwardly. "I'm so sorry, Ashleigh," I told her.

Of course I wouldn't know about Charlie's death. Of course no one would tell me.

Ashleigh swiped at the tears on her cheeks. She seemed angry that she'd cried in front of me. "He died peacefully in his sleep, they said. His heart stopped…"

"Shh, you don't need to tell me now." I touched her shoulder. "Come. Let me make you a mug of something hot."

*~*~*~*

We sat in the sterile kitchen, sipping coffee. Ashleigh was still crying, but it wasn't the violent sobs that she'd had in my car. Silent tears rolled down her face and dripped into her mug.

I knew how close she was to Charlie. That old man was mostly responsible for her glory with Wonder, for the fact that she was a Kentucky Derby winning jockey. It had never been a concern of mine how she would feel if he ever passed away. Now it was.

"I've really had one hell of a year," Ashleigh laughed sardonically. "My horse is hurt, I'm hurt, there was all that shit with Pride during the Triple Crown, Mike turned out to be an asshole and now Charlie…" She slammed her mug down hard on the table and stared fixedly at it, her jaw set.

Putting my own down, I said, "You know next year can only get better, right?"

She snorted.

"No, really. We'll get Pride back in the game. It won't be long before he'll be winning races again. And there's always Princess's training. I think you have a lot to look forward to."

"I never thought I'd bring Pride back here. Not after what happened earlier this year."

I gritted my teeth, remembering how I'd bullied Ashleigh around, with Lavinia's expert help of course. It had gotten so bad, she'd even asked Jilly Gordon to ride Pride in races instead of her. I didn't feel remorse, exactly, but it certainly wasn't satisfaction.

"So, what happened between you and Reese anyway?" I asked her, hoping that if she focused her anger on that, she'd stop crying and forget, if just for a moment, about Charlie.

Her fists clenched. "He turned into you."

"Oh, my. That's flattering. I'm assuming that you think I'm an asshole too."

"You are. Anyway, he's changed. It's no longer about the horses for him."

"It's about fame, money and power." I finished off for her. I knew that she thought that I didn't care about the horses, but I did. Well, there was one horse anyway, but he died a few years back. I still hadn't fully accepted that.

Ashleigh's eyes darted toward my face. She looked slightly guilty, but I thought that what she'd said was reasonable. I am an asshole.

"Let me show you something." I stood up and lead her out of the kitchen and into the study that I was slowly taking over from my father.

There was a framed painting on the wall. The head of a chestnut horse had been expertly placed on the canvas. A brass plaque underneath shone with a recent polish.

"It's the Prince!" Ashleigh reached up and touched the wooden frame.

"I had it made after his death." I looked at the recreation of my horse, remembering the day that I was told that he'd had to be put down. I had dreamt of one day racing his foals, but he'd been bred to outside mares. There had never been a Townsend Prince foal for me to call my own.

Biting her lip. Ashleigh looked at me. "You really did care about him."

"Of course I did. He was my horse," I said as if it was that simple. But, it wasn't. Nothing about my life had never been simple. "Why do you think I was so annoyed at you and Wonder for stealing the attention away from him?"

She smirked. "I knew you had your reasons."

"Right. I'm an asshole and it was just in my nature to hate you and your filly." The words were harsher than I'd intended hem to be, but it was hard to disguise the hurt I was feeling right then. Yeah, I was capable of feeling hurt. God knows Lavinia had made sure of that.

"I'm sorry. Shit, why am I even here?" She turned away and began to walk out the room.

I caught her arm. "You called me."

Confusion flickered across her face.

I let go of her.

"I hope you feel better," I said lamely.

"I hope so too," She left me standing there with my own perplexity and the past to keep me company.

-8-

Townsend Princess made her arrival two weeks later. I lead the filly off the ramp and was once again struck by her resemblance to her dam. She was much bigger, but had that coppery coat and a bold snip painted at the end of her muzzle.

Ashleigh had followed the trailer in her own car and came over, wrapping her arms around the filly's neck. She whispered something in Princess's ear.

"I promise you, she'll be looked after here," I said.

"I know," She mumbled against Princess's neck.

I put Princess in her new stable and then turned to Ashleigh. "How are you doing? I wanted to ask earlier, but your parents were looking at me like they could've killed me with their bare hands."

Ashleigh actually smiled. "Yeah, they've been doing that lately. You don't even want to see what they can be like. They almost did kill Mike when he dropped off some stuff."

"How are you?" I asked again.

"Okay. I just want to get on a horse again. Not that I have anything to ride at the moment."

An idea sparked in my head. "Has the doctor cleared you to ride?"

"Yes, but just slow stuff for a while." She sighed. "It's fine. I don't need to ride."

"But you want to." I walked down a couple of stables from Princess and gestured for her to follow.

The bay horse inside the stable turned to look at us.

"This is Townsend Destiny. She's out of Three Foot and she needs someone to take her out on the trails." I leant on the door and gave the filly a brief pat.

Ashleigh stared at Destiny. 'You… you're okay with me riding her?"

"She could do with the exercise and, quite frankly, you'd be doing me a favor."

"Okay. Thank you, I guess."

I had expected her to sound more grateful, but I didn't really care.

"Let's go see Pride. He's doing well." I walked away and heard her follow.

*~*~*~*

Ashleigh rode Destiny the next day and I joined her on another horse, Catchphrase.

As soon as she sat on Destiny's back, her whole demeanor changed. A smile played at the corners of her mouth and she seemed to just relax for the first time in weeks.

We rode in silence, the only sound was the occasional snort from one of the horses and their feet brushing against the dew-dusted grass.

"The ground is soft enough to trot, I think." I said to Ashleigh who immediately clicked to Destiny.

The horses were eager to go faster, but we kept them trotting side by side. Catchphrase tossed his head and I grimaced as some green foam splattered on my jacket.

"That's disgusting," I muttered, sweeping the spit off me.

Ashleigh laughed. "Catch knew that would happen. He's pissed off that you're holding him back."

When we arrived back at the stables, Ashleigh dismounted and groaned as her feet hit the ground.

"Are you okay?" I grabbed her elbow as she swayed slightly, her legs trembling.

She nodded, "My legs just went numb and sore all at the same time. I've forgotten how much it hurts when you haven't ridden for a while."

One of the grooms took the horses from us and Ashleigh collapsed on the mounting block, rubbing her thighs.

My own legs were complaining too. I couldn't remember when I'd last ridden and I was also paying the price.

"Thanks. I needed that," Ashleigh looked up at me.

I knew that she did and it pleased me that she seemed so happy. A hint of color tinged her cheeks and she still had that little smile on her face.

"Come and ride anytime. There will always be someone who could use the work," I offered. "That is, if you want to."

"What on earth has happened to you?" Ashleigh asked me teasingly. "You're making it almost impossible for me to hate you. Is there some hidden agenda behind all this?"

"No. No hidden agenda." I felt, hurt, again, that she seemed to think the worst of me all the time. But I did deserve it. "Besides, why do you have to hate me?"

Ashleigh stood up. "I've got to head home. Thanks again for this."

I had clearly done something to her by asking that question. But, I suppose she wanted to hate me. It made sense to make me the scapegoat and vent her anger and pain in my direction. After all, hating someone was easy. It was when you stop hating that things become complicated.

-9-

It grew steadily warmer. February rolled around and activity at Townsend Acres seemed to resume to normal levels. I woke up early to catch the morning workouts, occasionally riding a horse out myself. I just didn't have my heart in it and was only riding for the sake of being involved.

Ashleigh took full advantage of my offer and Maddock seemed glad to have her around. I don't know if Maddock felt the same about me. We've had our disagreements in the past and I got the impression that the trainer wanted me elsewhere in the mornings.

"Excellent job, Ashleigh! I think Destiny is ready for another race. You interested in riding him?" Maddock asked her when she dismounted from the sweaty colt.

Her enthusiastic nod was all the answer he needed.

I stood there silently, listening as Maddock and Ashleigh discussed possible races for Destiny. The horse was our Triple Crown hope that year and I knew that Maddock had high hopes for him.

"I never thought I'd be offered a chance to jockey for Maddock. I was seriously thinking that the next time I'd ride in a race is when Pride is better." Ashleigh shook her hair out of her helmet and grinned happily.

"Don't be stupid. If you hadn't raced a horse all year, do you really think we'd put you on him?" I said jokingly. "Besides, with Jilly and Craig off racing on the West Coast, we need you."

"Thanks, Ken. I need to get home to shower otherwise I'll be late for my first lecture." Ashleigh seemed to ignore what I had just said but I was getting used to it.

"I don't think that girl knows what to make of you," Maddock told me once Ashleigh was out of earshot.

I frowned. I didn't know what to make of me either.

*~*~*~*

Maddock scheduled a race for Destiny the next weekend. It was an allowance race, nothing big. I think he was testing Ashleigh as much as he was testing the colt. The only thing was that we'd have to travel to Gulfstream Park in Florida.

"I have to stay here, Brad. I've got the rest of the string to work with. I'm sure you and Ashleigh will be able to work the colt with no problems." Maddock seemed distracted. "You know Greg Welsh quit?"

Greg Welsh was the assistant trainer that replaced Ian McLean a few years back.

I nodded. "Pity he didn't talk to me about it."

"Well, we need to replace him before I can leave the farm. I'd like you to advertise for a replacement."

I had forgotten that all that shit was now my responsibility with my father absent for months on end. "You can handle it, Ken. He'll be working under you," I said. "I trust you to screen the applications and pick the most qualified person for the job."

Maddock gave me a strange look. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am. Besides, if the new person is bad at their job, I want to be able to yell at your for it." I grinned and left Maddock standing there with a flabbergasted expression on his face.

*~*~*~*

"I can't believe I'm taking time off college. This is crazy," Ashleigh kept saying as we drove down to Florida in the rig. She had a textbook on her lap but the most she'd done with it was flip idly through the pages. "I'm still not going to refuse to ride Destiny. He might be racing in the Triple Crown!"

"Well, if he his, you can bet that Maddock will put you on him. He seems to think you're good luck or something," I said, tapping against the steering wheel with my thumbs. The traffic thickened as we got closer to out destination and I was getting anxious to arrive.

Ashleigh raised a brow in my direction. "Well, I have won the Derby once. I don't see why I can't do it again with the right horse."

"Let's not count our chickens, shall we?"

She sighed heavily and looked away from me.

"What is it?" I demanded, wondering what I could've said wrong.

"Charlie used to say that to me all the time. It just hit me how much I miss him. And how much things have changed." Ashleigh fiddled with her book, her eyes cast away from me. "I mean, look at us, Brad."

"What about us?"

"I would never have seen a scenario like this a year ago. You and me, sitting in an enclosed space for an extended period. Actually talking to each other."

"Like you didn't want to chop off my head with a really big knife?"

"What about you, treating me like the insignificant daughter of the hired help? And I would've chopped your head off with a really big knife after what you put my sister through."

Caroline. God, I remembered that. I had dated her for six months. And then another, richer girl came along. One who looked good next to me in the photographs on the society pages.

Caro had been in a car accident and it was due to her distress at seeing me with Melinda at the track. I didn't feel guilty about it then, but Ashleigh's comment sure brought me close to that now.

"Yeah, well. That was a long time ago," I muttered lamely.

Ashleigh was quiet beside me, lost in thought. She flicked a stand of dark hair out of her face and stared unseeingly at the road ahead of us.

*~*~*~*

"Brad Townsend! What is it like working with Ashleigh Griffen?"

"Do you have any intentions of running Destiny in any big races while you're down here?"

"Mr. Townsend! Are you know in charge of the Townsend Acres operation?"

It was crazy. The day before Destiny's race and Ashleigh and I were followed by reporters with every step we took around the track.

"Ashleigh! Have you gotten over the death of Charlie Burke?"

She looked at me, a slightly panicked expression on her face.

I grabbed her elbow and positioned myself between her and the reporters. "Go away before I get track security to kick you off the property," I snapped at them, steering Ashleigh away.

We reached Destiny's stable in one piece and then Ashleigh fell apart.

"I didn't… didn't…" She tried to say something but her hiccupping sobs got in the way.

"I know. You didn't think they'd have the audacity to ask you that. I didn't either. But, you know how tactless they can be." I touched her shoulder gently.

Suddenly, she flung her arms around me, burying her face in my chest. I held her there, surprised, as she cried against me. Her body shook with emotion.

"It's okay. It's okay," I kept saying, awkwardly stroking her back.

Finally, her trembling subsided. She pulled away from me and went into Destiny's stable.

I leant against the wall, wondering what the fuck was going on.

-10-

"Maddock said we need to get Destiny out the gate as fast as possible. He hates running in a pack." I had my hand on the colts neck and was looking up at Ashleigh.

She looked nervous and I knew why. It was her first race after that disaster with Pride. But, stuff like that didn't happen in every race. That was a once in a lifetime accident.

"Don't worry. It'll be fine. Just let Destiny go at the start and worry about pacing him later. It'll be a simple, straightforward ride." I kept talking and she seemed to be listing, though her face was pale.

The horses left the parade ring for the track and I found a spot along the rail. All of a sudden, the importance of this race hit me. If Destiny didn't win it, he might not run in the Derby. If Ashleigh didn't win it, it'll take her that much longer to get over the past year. If it was even possible for her to get over it. I wasn't an expert on dealing with grief.

Destiny loaded in the number four spot without trouble. I wondered what Ashleigh was thinking right then.

And the gates opened and the race was on.

Ashleigh had done exactly as I suggested and had pushed Destiny right out to the lead. Another horse, Two By Four, was hot on their trail though. Luckily, it wasn't a long race. I expected Destiny to hold his position to the wire.

"And it's Townsend Destiny in the lead with Two By Four and Something Left on the outside. In fourth, Red Tide with Trepidation finding his stride along the rail…"

I clenched my hands together, willing Destiny on. The bay colt looked strong and it looked like my expectations would hold true.

And they did it! I leapt up and punched my fist in the air. Some old geezer next to me gave me a strange look. I suppose guys in Armani didn't do stuff like that everyday.

"That's my horse!" I told him as if it wasn't obvious.

"Oh, man. That was too easy. Brad, why didn't you enter him in the Fountain of Youth instead?" Ashleigh was beaming when I reached her in the winner's enclosure.

I just shook my head, my own smile plastered on my face.

"So what's next for this horse?" Reporters shoved microphones in my face.

I turned to one of the cameras and said, "The Florida Derby. And then we'll take it from there."

*~*~*~*

The next morning, we set off for home with Destiny safely tucked in the back of the trailer. With the Florida Derby a month away and Townsend Acres being short staffed, it made sense not to stay at Gulfstream. Besides, Ashleigh had to get back to college.

She was asleep, her head resting against the glass. I couldn't help sneaking a look at her every now and then, marveling at how contented she looked. All the tension was gone from her face.

We passed the Florida state border and I kept driving. Suddenly, home didn't seem like such a terrible place to be.

*~*~*~*

After what seemed like an eternity, we arrived back at Townsend Acres. Hank put Destiny away and Ashleigh gathered her things from the back of the cab.

"One more lift home?" I asked her, taking one of her bags from her.

"I want to see Pride and Princess first," she said, setting the other bag on the floor.

Inside Pride's stable, Ashleigh flung her arms around his neck.

"Always treating that horse like a pet, hey Ashleigh?" I asked, but without any hint of unkindness in my voice.

She ran a hand down his shoulder. "He deserves it."

"Come on," I prompted her, checking my watch. "It's late and I've been driving for hours."

She quickly went to Princess's stable and looked in on the filly. "Okay, we can go now. Sorry."

I seemed to spend way to much time driving her around, but I didn't say anything to her about it. Truthfully, I didn't mind.

When we arrived at the Griffen place, it was well past midnight. Vapor lights lit the exterior of the barns and farmhouse.

I got out of the car and picked up her bags for her. She fumbled in her messenger bag for the keys.

A sneeze threatened and I wrinkled my nose, trying to suppress it while I waited for her. I hoped I wasn't getting sick.

"Got them!" she said triumphantly, holding the keys up.

She let her self inside and I followed her, toting the bags, into the darkened house. I set them down on the wooden floor.

"Your folks have a nice place," I whispered, looking around me. It was very homely, not like anything I was used to.

Ashleigh snorted, "It's not a mansion, like you're used to. But we're happy here." She had misunderstood me.

I didn't bother trying to defend myself. What was the point?

"Goodnight, Griffen." I closed the door behind me and drove home, feeling the telltale ache in my bones that one gets from sitting in a car for too damn long. or, so I thought.

-11-

I woke up the next morning with a full-blown cold. Every part of me ached and my head felt like I'd had in a vice while I slept. Groaning, I rolled over and pulled the covers over me.

There was no point in getting up.

The phone beside my bed rang and I swore as my clumsy fingers nearly knocked it from the table.

"Hello?" My voice came out croaky, which was just fantastic.

The was silence then a hesitant "Brad?"

"Griffen," I sat up. "Aren't you sick of me?"

"No, but you sound sick! Are you okay?" She asked me, sounding concerned.

Clearing my throat, I said "Yes. It must've been all that traveling and the humid Florida weather."

"That's horrible!"

"I know. I'm going to spend the day in bed. What can I do for you?"

"I should be asking you that," She laughed. "Anyway, I wanted to know if I could come over later today with Sammy. She wants to visit Pride."

"Of course. Just don't be offended if I'm not around. I feel like shit." I coughed into my pillow.

She thanked me profusely and then hung up.

I fell back against my bed, coughing spasmodically. Maybe I was dying, I thought and then coughed more as I laughed.

Not dying, but I certainly felt like I was losing my mind.

*~*~*~*

I managed to get out of bed and had a reviving shower. I found a beaten-up pair of tracksuit pants and an old sweater and put both on before making a cup of coffee.

Walking to the barn, I cradled my mug in one hand, feeling the warmth seep into my palm. I didn't feel great, but I couldn't possibly have lain around for much longer. And, I had another reason for getting up. I was feeling lonely again.

Ashleigh's car was parked outside the main barn and that sight made me smile. Hell, I has even looking forward to teasing Samantha!

It was probably because I need to replace Lavinia, I told myself and then decided that that was extremely shallow. But, I am shallow. Or, I was. I didn't know what to think anymore.

Ashleigh and Samantha were standing outside Pride's stable. They were giggling at something and Samantha was saying "..and then Mike decided that he would ride Sierra! You should've seen how far he flew."

I was about to say something, but had a coughing fit instead.

"Brad!" Ashleigh took a step toward me. "What are you doing out of bed?"

"I'm sorry, Mom," I gasped when I could breathe again.

She looked at me disapprovingly. "You look terrible. Even worse that you sounded on the phone earlier."

This earned her a surprised look from Samantha. I had a feeling that Sammy didn't know that I was no longer considered as the worst human being on the planet.

"I know I said I'd lie around all day, but I just can't do it. I got restless. Thought I'd walk down here and say hi and make you both sick." I winked at Samantha, wanting to scare her more than anything else.

It worked. She looked at me so dubiously I had to laugh. And then, of course, I had to cough again.

"You should really see a doctor," Ashleigh told me.

I shook my head firmly. "I never go to doctors. I'll be fine."

I walked past them and looked in on Pride myself. The stallion nickered at me and stretched out his muzzle for a pat. I obliged and scratched him under his forelock. I think the damn horse was starting to recognize me.

"Have you been bribing him?" Ashleigh asked me suspiciously.

"No. I've hardly visited him." I turned to Sammy. "How's it going with you?"

She really didn't look like she wanted to answer me, but she said, "Okay. Can I go walk around? I want to see old Dominator and Belle."

I nodded at her and continued stroking Pride.

"She hates me. It's funny," I said to Ashleigh when Sammy had disappeared from sight.

"I'm glad being hated amuses you. Has Ken found a new assistant trainer?" Ashleigh asked me.

"Oh, shit. I forgot to ask him," I shrugged at Ashleigh. "It slipped my mind."

"Well, do you know if I'm riding tomorrow at least?" She watched me pat Pride like it the most fascinating thing since reality TV.

I lifted my shoulders again. "You will always have something to ride in the mornings. If not, you can always take Dominator for a spin." I really was starting to feel awful. My head was pounding.

I held on to the stable door, feeling dizzy for a moment. "Listen, I'm going back to bed. You guys are welcome to do whatever."

I began to stumble my way back to the house. It was like someone had wrapped my brain in cotton wool. I could barely walk in a straight line.

In my bedroom, I wrapped myself in my duvet and fell asleep instantly.

-12-

I woke up, sweating profusely and not able to breathe. Each breath I took burned my lungs and throat and caused me to cough convulsively.

I had no idea what time it was, only that I needed help. A doctor, someone who could tell me what the fuck was wrong with me.

It was a stroke of luck that Maria, the housekeeper wondered past the doorway.

"Mr. Brad? Are you okay?" She asked me, her accent heavily Hispanic.

"Get Maddock. Please, Maria," I croaked, hoping that Ken Maddock would be willing to help me.

He arrived quickly. "Jesus, Brad. I was wondering where you've been for the past two days."

Too weak to make an effort to reply, I just shook my head. Two days? Was that how long I'd been sleeping for? Wasn't I supposed to feel better after that insane amount of sleep?

My whole body started to shake and Maddock picked up his phone.

*~*~*~*

I barely remember how I got to the hospital or my first few days there, but I have vague recollections of a drip being inserted into my arm and a nurse asking me who the current president of America was. And, of course, the diagnosis. Pneumonia.

Weakened by the fever, I lay in starched sheets for hours, sleeping for longer than I was awake. I don't think I have ever been that sick before and I hope I am never that sick again.

One morning, I was able to sit up for the first time in a week without feeling like I was going to die. I saw flowers by my bed, sent to me from the new assistant trainer, Kelly Vargas. I had never me the woman before and she had clearly felt compelled to suck up to me. Wonderful.

"Hey, you're awake!" Ashleigh stood in the doorway of my private room, looking relieved. She had a package in her arms. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've lost a week of my life. God…" I trailed off and fell back against the pillows. Talking was hard. My throat still felt like it was in fire, but at least the coughing had subsided substantially.

Sitting awkwardly on a chair beside the bed, Ashleigh said, "You were so sick, you gave us quite a scare."

"You mean… you were worried?" I raised an eyebrow at her, unable to resist teasing her. Even if I felt like recycled shit, some habits die hard. "I never thought I'd see the day!" Of course, my sentences didn't flow as smoothly as I made them out to here. Each word was punctuated by a gasp for air or a small cough.

She rolled her eyes. "Have you seen the doctor today?"

"Yeah. A few more days and then I can go home, thank the Lord," I said, fluffing up my pillow behind my head. "How's Destiny?"

"Oh, God, he's doing great. Ken's going to travel down to Florida with him in a week. Kelly's staying up here with the rest of the string. I'm flying down to Florida a few days later."

I gritted my teeth, feeling frustrated that life at the farm had gone on without me.

Ashleigh continued, oblivious to my aggravation. "Oh, you father brought a new horse home, did he tell you? Not from England, because there was no quarantine, but this horse is something else, Brad. He's a yearling like Princess. Ken and I have been trying to figure out the right name for him…"

"How about Daddy Doesn't Care? Or Townsend Rejection?" I spat bitterly. "You mean my father's been home? And he didn't have the fucking… fucking decency to come and visit me?"

Looking uncomfortable, Ashleigh muttered that she thought he had.

It was like a knife in my chest, twisting against my heart. I had never thought my father to be so callous, but then again, he had always cared more about the horses than me.

"He said he was going to, Brad. I heard him tell Ken…"

"Look, it's fine. Not like it's anything new." I rolled over, facing my back toward her and closed my eyes.

*~*~*~*

A few days later and I was cleared to go home. Maddock pushed me out of the hospital in a wheelchair, chatting about Destiny's workout that morning.

"You should've seen him. Ashleigh had him running like a bullet. I really think we stand a good chance at Gulfstream next weekend."

I wouldn't be there. I had been forbidden by my doctor to travel for a few weeks. It pissed me off that I wasn't able to go.

All through the drive home, I struggled to stay awake. My body was still so weak, even keeping my head upright was an effort. I didn't hear much of what Maddock was telling me about Kelly's ideas and her additions to the training schedule. The best I could do was make little sounds of agreement or acknowledgement every now and then.

Finally, the car pulled up beside my house. I hastily got out, careful not to fall on my face when I felt my knees buckle.

"Take care of yourself, son. Let me know if you need anything," Maddock told me, looking stern.

I looked up at the house and sighed appreciatively. It was good to be home.

-13-

Townsend Destiny was shipped down to Florida the next week. I watched the Townsend Acres wan rumble down the driveway, feeling extremely irritated and frustrated.

Ashleigh stood beside me, hands on her hips. "Sorry that you can't come down with us. At least you'll be able to see the race on that flat screen TV your father got."

I snorted. "I'd much rather be with my horse."

Ashleigh stared at the now empty driveway. "It's only for a week. After the Florida Derby, we'll be prepping for the Triple Crown."

"Provided Destiny does well," I added.

"Why do you have to be so pessimistic about it? Ken has full confidence in the colt. As do I." Ashleigh glared at me.

"Confidence leads to disappointment. God, at least I'll be prepared for the worst if it does happen." We had had full confidence in Pride and fate had let us down. I wasn't about to make that mistake again.

Ashleigh shook her head, disgusted at me. "So, as soon as things start going well, you expect the worst to happen? That's a bullshit way of looking at life."

"Well, it works for me, okay? I'm going to check out what Kelly's doing with Maddock's horses."

Kelly Marks wasn't a bad trainer. I think Maddock did a reasonable job hiring her. She was one of those who liked taking the chance to get to know each individual animal and I had often seen her ride one of the horses in a workout herself. I would've found that annoying half a year ago, but Kelly had my respect.

Ashleigh followed me. Kelly was standing by the longing area with my father's new purchase.

Prancing on elegant legs, the dark bay colt must've stood at just under sixteen hands. Big for a young horse. He had an unusual marking on his face; a smudge of white that resembled a distorted 's'.

"Hey, Mr. Townsend. You father wanted us to start working with the new colt. He's a looker, huh?" Kelly said to me, while she rubbed a saddlecloth over the colt's twitching sides.

I made some sort of grunting sound in reply that sounded vaguely like I agreed with her. "What are you doing today with him?"

"Oh, the usual. Getting him used to the feel of a saddle and a bridle. If he's ok, we'll walk around a bit."

Ashleigh was staring at the colt in admiration. Even if I tried, I probably couldn't have brought myself to care about the horse. He was just another example of my father's recent disinterest in me.

"Has Mr. Townsend suggested any names for him?" Ashleigh asked Kelly.

Kelly shook her head. "I think he's pretty much left it up to us to name him."

Rubbing her chin thoughtfully, Ashleigh said, "I wonder if the name has to have 'Townsend' at the front, like Princess. That just makes it hard."

"Oh, please, God. Leave out that part! Give the horse an original name for once," I rolled my eyes.

Both of them looked me like they'd forgotten I was there.

"What? You think I like that self-publicity crap? At least give the poor horse a decent name seeing as it's not up to my father to decide." I surveyed the colt, trying to think of something suitable. I was never really good at naming horses. I wondered what the big deal was anyway? They could call him 'Candy Floss' and I wouldn't give a shit.

"Oh, Brad! I forgot to tell you! Wonder's probably due to foal in the next few days," Ashleigh grabbed my arm and then suddenly released it, gathering control of herself.

I looked at her. "You're not going to be here," I said, wondering what she was getting at.

"Yeah, I know. Do you think.. I mean… could you check up on her for me?"

Surprised, I said, "But she's at your parents. Surely…"

Cutting me off, Ashleigh said, "I'd rather have your honest opinion than any sugar-coated crap I'll get from my family if anything goes wrong. I'm worried about her, Brad."

Nodding, I remembered a few years back when Wonder had miscarried. Ashleigh had every right to be concerned about the horse. Although, it was beyond me why she wanted me involved. "I'll visit her. I just hope Caroline won't kill me if she's at the farm."

*~*~*~*

A few days later, Ashleigh left for Florida. The Derby was just four days away and I ached to be down there in the thick of the action instead of stuck at Townsend Acres. Despite what I had said to Ashleigh about not getting my hopes up, a lot depended on Destiny winning the race. If he put in a poor performance, my father would have a heart attack. Well, not literally. But, he wouldn't be pleased. Townsend Acres would be short an entrant for the Triple Crown. And that's bad because we all know that those three races are the be all and end all of a racehorse's career. At least that's how most people see them.

I was bored. Riding didn't have the appeal it once did and I didn't really care much about watching the workouts. There was nothing special in active training besides Destiny. Well, nothing that I was interested in anyway.

To be truthful, I didn't know what to do with myself. Aside from the horses, my life had degraded to nothing. I had no purpose, no direction.

Thinking about it, I figured that what happens when you don't need to work hard to earn money. And, when you can't work, you don't stress about finances; you get bored as hell.

A few nights before the Florida Derby, I tossed and turned in bed, worrying about the most irrational things. Things like Pride getting better and Lavinia and Ashleigh. I had never worried about Ashleigh before, but my head was filled with visions of her somersaulting off Pride. What if the same thing happened whilst she was racing Destiny? What if she was so badly hurt that…

The bedside phone rang, shaking me away from my paranoid thoughts.

"Brad? This is Derek Griffen. Wonder's in the early stages of labor."

-14-

I had no idea what time it was when I reached the Griffen place. It was late enough for me to have only passed the occasional truck on the way there, so I had pretty much driven like a man possessed.

The farm was abuzz with activity though. All the lights were on and several cars were parked by the broodmare barn.

I got out of my own car, wondering how welcome I really was. It wasn't a secret that the entire Griffen family disliked me. But, I suppose I had brought it upon myself.

"You're just in time, Brad. Wonder's just lain down," Derek Griffen gave me a perfunctory glance before looking back into the darkened stable.

Joining the small crowd, I looked in too, ignoring the disgusted look Caroline gave me.

Wonder was lying in the straw, her coppery coat dampened with sweat. She grunted as a contraction gripped her, swishing her tail.

"It won't be long now," Elaine Griffen said in a hushed tone.

She was right. I watched in fascination as the foal was born. Wonder was an experienced broodmare and the birth went quickly. Soon, a bundle of brown, trembling wetness was curled up next to it's mother.

Nickering softly, Wonder looked back at her new colt and muzzled him gently.

Derek went slowly inside the stable and all the necessary checks on the foal, dipping it's umbilical stub in iodine.

"Did you call Ashleigh?" I asked Elaine.

Shaking her head, she said, "No. Ashleigh told us to call you first. We'll ring her now with the news."

Filled with an impulsive urge to be the first to call her, I left the barn and leant against a post outside, my phone in my hand. It was just before five o'clock and I knew that she would be awake.

I dialed her number, held the phone up to my ear and waited.

"Oh my God! Brad! Are you calling for the reason that I think you're calling?" Ashleigh's voice was high with excitement.

Grinning, I said, "Yeah. I'm bored and I wanted to talk."

"Crap! Wonder had her foal, didn't she?" Ashleigh sounded like she was bouncing off walls. "What is it? A boy or a girl?"

"A colt. He's healthy and was standing up when I last saw him."

A high-pitched shriek filled my ears. "I wish I was there! Say hi to my parents for me!"

"I'm sure they'll call you now, anyway. Good luck for the race." I pressed a button to disconnect the call and put my head back against the post, inhaling the cool air.

I suddenly felt a wave of depression hit me in the stomach. Closing my eyes, I sank to the floor and pressed my palms against my forehead.

I had no idea what was wrong with me.

*~*~*~*

On the day of the Florida Derby, I settled down in front of the TV with a bottle of beer and a bowl of popcorn that Maria had made me. There was something she did that made her popcorn the best I had ever tasted. Even if she'd laced it with laxatives to punish me for the years of abuse I'd put her through, I would still have eaten it and suffered later.

I had called Ashleigh earlier to see how she was doing and to wish her luck. She had sounded calm.

I think not being at the track contributed to my nerves. I watched the horses in the parade ring and listened to the commentator rave about some West coast horse, Stratosphere, who had been setting track records.

At post time, Destiny was the second favorite with odds of seven to two. With both him and Stratosphere being heavily backed, the rest of the field had insignificant odds.

The camera gave a close-up view of Ashleigh settling on Destiny's back. She was looking intently at Maddock and I longed to know what he was telling her. Probably the usual advice of letting Destiny set the pace for the first furlong, then rate him just off the pace until the homestretch.

"Come on, Ashleigh. Win this one for us." I clenched my fists as the field cantered down to the starting gate.

It didn't take long for the horses to load and then the gates clanged open.

"And they-re off! As expected, Townsend Destiny takes the early lead followed by Charm Song and Call Me Bold. Favorite, Stratosphere is in fourth…"

Destiny was running well. Ashleigh had him on a tight rein and was keeping him well away from the other horses.

Then, Charm Song started making a move on the outside. My heart was in my throat as the grey horse crowded close to Destiny. It looked like Charm Song's jockey was trying to force my horse into the rail!

I could only imagine what Ashleigh was yelling to that asshole, but she was definitely motioning for him to do something. Suddenly, she checked Destiny hard and they fell behind Charm Song. Another horse passed them. And then another.

It was a disaster. Destiny looked like was falling apart out there. His strides were jagged and he was fighting Ashleigh. She only had one choice.

"Let him run before he snaps!" I swore at the TV.

Ashleigh's hands dropped onto Destiny's dark neck. But, the colt didn't go any faster. He seemed distracted as they rounded the final turn. His ears were pointing in all directions.

By the time they crossed the wire, Destiny was eighth in the field of eleven.

I knew it was all just too damn good to be true.


	6. 1528

-15-

The next evening, Destiny arrived home. As soon as he stepped out of the trailer, I could see the change in him. It wasn't the same horse that had left Townsend Acres a week ago.

Normally, I would've brushed off his lackluster appearance and the dullness in his eyes as pure exhaustion. Perhaps it was because I no longer saw the horse as a running machine, but I could swear that he was both physically and mentally defeated.

"What a mess. The press wouldn't leave us alone. Destiny's hardly eaten. Dammit…" Maddock looked as deflated as the horse.

Jumping out the cab, Ashleigh gave me a transparent smile. She was more than tired. Her eyes were red and puffy. It looked like she'd been crying.

"Ashleigh had a little run in with her ex after the race," Maddock whispered in my ear. "She was upset as it was, but I think that broke her. Hasn't spoken the whole ride home. She might talk to you though."

I doubted it, but I chased after her toward the training barn.

Grabbing her arm, I spun her to face me. "Are you okay?"

Ashleigh looked at me for all of two seconds before the tears started to fall. "No. No, I'm not ok," she said, her voice cracking.

"What happened? And I don't mean in the race." I slowly steered her towards my office, my hand on her back.

Between sobs, Ashleigh said, "I saw Mike. God, what an asshole."

"It's ok, Ashleigh. I don't know what it is he did to you, but it'll be ok." My words sounded lame, but I was never very good at comforting people.

I followed her into my office and kicked the door closed behind us. Switching on the kettle, I turned back to her. "Coffee or tea?"

"Coffee. Strong." She slumped in one of the padded leather chairs and stared blankly at the wall.

Making the coffee in silence, I wondered what Mike had done to her in the first place. She had never really told me the full story. Now, I hoped, she would be more open with me. Not that I was her best friend or anything, but she didn't seem to want to put an axe in my head whenever I spoke to her.

I set the mug in one of her trembling hands and pulled up the other chair. "I've been told that talking helps. Start from the beginning."

She had a few sips and then, reluctantly, started talking. "All this shit started long before the Classic last year. Mike started pressurizing me for a wedding date. Of course, I wasn't interested in getting married just then. It was too early.

"But, it turned out that wasn't all that Mike wanted. You see, he was after half of my interest in Pride and Princess. I was just too blind to see how he had changed, you know. It wasn't about us anymore. It was about my horses. And the money they could win for him." She had another sip of her coffee and sighed. "I guess I was just stupid."

I wanted to make her feel better. "We all have our moments, you know. I was going to propose to Lavinia! Now, how's that for idiotic?"

Ashleigh cracked a smile and I felt accomplished.

"I can't believe you were going to ask that bimbo to marry you. She was so vapid when it came to anything outside of her physical appearance," Ashleigh said, wiping at her face.

Shaking my head, I just laughed. "What did Mike say to you at Gulfstream?" I brought the talk back on the subject at hand.

"He seemed really annoyed that I was riding for Townsend Acres. He told me that I was using you just like I had used him. He said that he couldn't believe that I had run to you, that I was really desperate. The worst thing was… he blamed me for Pride's accident and for my ride on Destiny. It was like he thought I couldn't ride worth shit anymore. Maybe that's true." Fresh tears ran down her cheeks.

Filled with an urge to find Mike Reese and punch his face in, I clenched my fists. No wonder she was so upset. Knowing Ashleigh she was probably blaming herself as it was. And he had to make it worse!

"Fucking asshole," I muttered then looked at her. "He's just jealous that you seemed to have bounced back from everything and he didn't. It sounds like he's the one who's fucked up over all this, not you."

She didn't seem convinced, so I continued. "Look, you did a great job on Destiny. It wasn't your fault that Charm Song's jock decided to spoil the race for you. In fact, you did the best thing possible by holding Destiny back! Don't blame yourself for things you have no control over."

"I should've pushed him on! Or seen that horse coming! It is my fault and you know it. You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"You should know that I don't just say stuff to make you feel better. I say stuff because it's true. Anyway, I know what will really will help, though." I got up and grabbed my car keys from my drawer.

*~*~*~*

"Oh-he's-so-wonderful-I-wonder-what-color-he-will-be-maybe-he-will-be-like-pride-want-to-touch-him-good-job-baby!"

I burst out laughing at the verbal waterfall that came forth from Ashleigh as soon as she set eyes on the new foal. She was leaning over the stable door with a hand on Wonder's muzzle.

She glared at me then grinned. "You're right. Seeing him does help."

"Welcome back, Ash!" Rory Griffen, now a stocky junior in high school, didn't even glance at me as he rushed up to his sister. "Isn't the foal awesome?"

I listened with half-an-ear as the siblings caught up. It felt awkward to be there all of a sudden.

"Listen," I touched Ashleigh's shoulder when there was a break in the conversation. "I have to go. I'll put your bag outside the front door."

She nodded and then went back to Wonder's stable.

Rory's voice followed me down the aisle. "Since when did he become Mr. Nice Guy?"

By the time Ashleigh answered, I was too far away to hear what she'd said.

-16-

"Come on, Pride. I might as well make myself useful and take you for a walk." I grabbed the stallion's headcollar and slipped it on his head. Pride whuffed excitedly. He couldn't go out in a paddock yet in case he hurt himself, but the vet had ordered us to make sure he did lots of nice, steady walking.

In a month, we'd be able to start working him properly again. His future as a racehorse depend on how well the old injury held up under stress.

I was glad to have something to do. I still wasn't one hundred percent better from the pneumonia and I couldn't even contemplate riding. But, I was sure a nice walk would do both Pride and I good.

"You taking him out?" Ashleigh appeared at the end of the aisle. She looked a lot better than she had the previous day.

Nodding, I said, "You're more than welcome to join us." I held the lead out to her.

Taking it, she lead the horse out of the barn and into the bright morning sunshine. It was a good day to be outside and just feeling the warmth on my face lightened my spirits considerably.

"He's looking better. And so are you." Ashleigh glanced at me.

"Thanks. Maria's been feeding me up with paella and stew." I flexed my arm briefly. "Actually, I'm still not quite there health-wise."

Her eyes flicked over me. "You're thin, but not nearly as bad as you looked before."

"Thanks!" I pretended to be offended and gave her a wounded look.

"You know what I meant." Ashleigh draped an arm over Pride's back.

We walked up a rise and had a wonderful view of the farm below us. I could see a horse galloping out on the track while others were scattered around the paddocks. Everything was immaculate, just as my father liked it to be.

"This is all going to be yours one day. I feel so, so sorry for you." Ashleigh had a look of mock pity on her face.

I rolled my eyes. "You know, I'm beginning to wonder if I want it."

"What? Who wouldn't want it?"

"It's just been that, lately, I have to force myself to care about the place. And it pisses me off that I haven't done anything else with my life." I started to walk on and she followed me. "Townsend Acres is all I know. I'm twenty-five and, technically, I have yet to earn my first honest dollar."

She didn't say anything and I took her silence as a sign of her agreement.

I sighed heavily, overwhelmed at how lost I felt. Right then, the only thing that seemed to matter was the girl beside me. And I didn't even know if she cared.

*~*~*~*

The next week passed in a blur. I watched as Ashleigh was the first person to sit astride both my father's colt and Princess. Both yearlings had been coming along nicely under Kelly's care, but I knew that Ashleigh wanted to get more involved with the filly's training.

Maddock was starting to pressure me about my father's colt. He kept insisting that I think of a name for him and work with him. I only finally agreed because it would give me something else do aside from walking out with Pride every morning.

I was about to start my first session with the colt when Maddock walked up to me, looking concerned.

"What is it?" I asked, wondering if there was something wrong with the young horse.

"I just got off the phone with your father. We're still running Destiny in the Derby, it seems. He doesn't want to pull him from the race." Maddock rubbed his temples with his fingertips.

I sighed, annoyed. "My father didn't even watch the bloody Florida Derby, did he? Destiny was a wreck after that race."

"I know, Brad. I know. And he still hasn't bounced back. That horse always seems to run a psychological race. If he messes up, the problem is in his head, not on the track. I'm so worried that the Derby will ruin him."

That was exactly how I felt. I wouldn't even have thought that the Derby was a consideration anymore. I was right. It was a definite.

"All we can do is help that horse as much as we can. Maybe we need to run him against Catchphrase and let him win." I stroked the colt's shoulder thoughtfully.

Maddock nodded. "Trails too. Get him off the track and out into open space."

It was going to take a lot of work to get Destiny to bounce back for the Derby. We only had three weeks to do it.

-17-

A good thing about living on a Thoroughbred farm is the space. I could take a decent run without having to leave the property. I was sick of feeling half-alive and had started making a circuit of the trails alongside the paddocks every morning.

The first time out there was torture; my lungs felt like I had inhaled acid and little missiles of pain fired along my muscles. After a week though, I was fitter and it became habit to get out of bed, change into my sweats and go for a jog.

On one such morning, Maddock stopped me as I ran past the track.

"The Derby is in ten days, Brad. By this stage we should be feeling pretty confident that our horse can win it." Maddock gave me a rhetorical look.

I caught my breath before replying. "I think we'd be better off running the race ourselves."

It was pretty hard not to notice the lackluster performances that Destiny had been putting out since the Florida Derby. Even with Catchphrase by his side, he had barely lifted a hoof. He had also been slow to pick up weight after the race.

The previous day, we had taken him out on the trails and he had slouched along. I had commented to Ashleigh that he had clearly lost his spark and she had just shaken her head sadly.

"Fuck it, I don't know what to do anymore. We'll be laughed at when he puts in his official works at Churchill Downs," Maddock said, a worried frown creasing his face. "I was chatting to Kelly and she is at a total loss, too."

I didn't want to run the horse and both trainers didn't want to run him either. There only seemed to be one logical choice.

"I'm pulling him from the race, Ken. If my father has a problem with that, he can deal with me. I'm sick of him deciding stuff like this when he really hasn't kept in touch with the horses." I gave a heavy sigh, dreading my father's reaction when I pulled Destiny. But, running the colt wasn't worth the risk.

Maddock nodded, his features relaxing. "He may bounce back in time for the Preakness. Maybe."

"We may have to face the fact that Destiny may not be able to handle the distance, you know. This might be more than something in his head." Even though I had said the words myself, I hated to hear them. I was fond of the big bay colt. But, he had never really been tested over longer distances until the Florida Derby.

After a few more words, I took off again, pounding out my frustrations against the winding path. It just didn't seem possible that this was all happening. A year ago, we had a Derby winner in Wonder's Pride. Hell, that colt had come so close to sealing the Triple Crown and I yearned for that chance again. But, it clearly wasn't going be with Destiny.

Now, Pride might never set foot on the track again, Destiny couldn't hold a candle to horses like Charm Song and I was alone in more ways than one.

*~*~*~*

"If you had just seen him run this week, you would know why we're pulling him! Don't ruin that horse for glory!" I yelled into the receiver of the telephone. "Both Ken, Kelly and myself agree. Ashleigh, too."

There was a heavy silence on the other end. Then, when my father spoke, he sounded very displeased. "It's probably due to poor training and riding. The last time I saw him run he looked like a million dollars."

"No, I honestly think he's just in need of a good rest. Maybe he'll perk up in a few weeks, but the Derby isn't even an option right now."

"You know, I am wondering who you are and what happened to my son. I had no idea you cared about the horses, Brad." My father's voice was laden with scorn.

"Well, what else am I supposed to care about? Tell me! I don't have anything else!"

"Now, whose fault is that? You have no one to blame but yourself."

I didn't even ask him to elaborate. I slammed the phone down, cursing loudly. Not that it mattered that my father was being unreasonable. I had pulled Destiny from the race that morning.

Walking out my office, I hit my clenched fist against the wall. I didn't know what my father's problem was. He was hardly at the farm and he had no idea what was going on there. Quite frankly, I thought he had no right to even have an opinion on whether Destiny should race or not. It pissed me off.

Worse than that, though, was the obvious disdain he had shown toward me. Like I knew nothing about the horse myself, not to mention his little comment about my not caring.

"Fuck!" My foot connected with an empty water bucket and sent it flying down the aisle.

"Did the bucket call you a bad name, Brad?" Ashleigh's head poked out from over the door of Princess's stable. She had an amused expression on her face.

I shook my head and tried to relax. I didn't want her to see me all riled up over this. "I'm just pissed off at my father."

"About Destiny? You did the right thing pulling him from the race." Ashleigh let herself out of the stable and stood next to me.

Digging my palms into my forehead, I said, "I'll get over it. Frankly, it's not like we need the horse to win the race or anything. There are other Townsend horses that are doing decently. And we sold that Townsend Victor colt last month for a decent price. I don't get why he's so fucking… fucking…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say. It didn't seem possible to describe how my father was being lately.

Ashleigh put a hand on my arm. "It's not a big deal. Let's take Pride for a walk. Get your mind off all this."

I doubted that would help, but I grabbed a halter from one of the hooks anyway.

Summer was well on its way and both Ashleigh and I had discarded our light jackets in the barn. I glanced at her while we walked and admired how good she looked with the sunlight radiating off her dark hair. She had grown up so much in the past year.

So had I.

"I can't get over this." Ashleigh glanced at me.

"What? Not racing in the Derby?" I asked, lifting my shoulders and then dropping them again. "It's ok. You'll have another chance I'm sure."

With a laugh, Ashleigh gave me a little nudge with her elbow. "That's not what I meant. I was talking about us! When last did we fight over something?"

I pretended to ponder her question. "Well, let's see… thirty seven days, five hours and three minutes ago?"

"You are so annoying. My point is, it's been a very long time. If I had to label my relationship with you, I'd say you've become a pretty good friend. How about that?" She didn't look very comfortable with that concept, but I may have misread her body language.

"Nobody says you have to label anything, Ashleigh. Just take it for what it is. Labels add pressure on both of us."

"What are you implying? You don't want friendship?"

"No! I do, I do!" I raised the hand that wasn't holding the lead rein defensively. "I don't want definition. It puts whatever we have here into a little box and confines it."

The look in her eyes was penetrating. "I get it. You want more."

"No!" It was my turn to push her back. "Are you crazy? You're not my type at all."

"Ah, that's right. I'm not blonde, wealthy and have an IQ to rival my shoe size," Ashleigh said with such seriousness that I found myself laughing with my hand on Pride's glossy neck for support.

"My god. I really am that transparent. Call me when you bleach you hair, win the Triple Crown and kill your brain cells by falling on your head a few times." I put my arm around her tiny shoulders impulsively and pulled her against me for the briefest of moments.

It was amazing. All I needed was a few minutes with Ashleigh and everything seemed ok. Maybe I needed to spend more time with her. I didn't even care that I might not get anything more than companionship out of her.

-18-

On Derby day, Ashleigh and I watched Charm Song flatten the field of twelve and win by four lengths. A West coast horse, Effervescence, came in second.

"Well, at least Destiny wasn't here today. I think he would've gotten his butt kicked regardless." I held on to her elbow as we made our way through the crowds at the track.

Ashleigh nodded, but she seemed distracted. Her eyes darted around the sea of people surrounding us.

"Brad Townsend! Can I have a moment of your time?"

I spun to see who was addressing me and a light bulb went off in my face. A woman stuck out her free hand and said, "The name's Maria. Maria deBritius. I work for The Track Review. Do you mind if I ask you and Ms. Griffen a few questions?"

Laughing dryly, I said, "Why? We didn't have a horse running today. Unless you failed to notice that we pulled our entrant."

The blonde woman, only slightly younger than myself, laughed as if I had said the funniest thing in the world. "Oh, really, Mr. Townsend! I just wanted your opinion on some things. Do you think that Townsend Destiny could've won today?"

"Destiny is having a break at the moment. It's hard to say where he would've placed today."

Maria jotted something down on her pad. "Uh-huh. Are you planning on running him again?"

"It's hard to say at this stage," I said, trying to be as evasive as possible.

"What about Wonder's Pride?" Maria turned to Ashleigh. "Can we expect him back this season?"

Ashleigh glanced at me, "Uh, he's recovering well and we hope to have him start training again soon. Whether he races again will depend on that."

Grinning, the bouncy reporter said, "One final question for both of you. There are rumors going around regarding your relationship. Would you like to confirm anything?"

I felt Ashleigh tense beside me and quickly answered before she could say anything. "We have a strictly working relationship. I should hope that is what you will print in your little paper, Ms. deBritius."

We spun around and lost the nosy reporter in the crowds.

"People like making stuff up, don't they?" Ashleigh rolled her eyes.

With a laugh, I said, "Tell me about it! I bet the whole of Kentucky has nothing better to do than wonder if we're dating."

"Like that would ever happen!"

"Never!" I put an arm around her waist and kept her close to me, avoiding a particularly rowdy group of racing fans.

Suddenly, she skidded to a stop, almost wrenching my arm out of its socket. "Oh, god. It's Mike. Maybe he won't recognize me." She hid her face against my shoulder.

"He'll recognize me! Christ, Ashleigh! What can he do anyway?" I was so amused I laughed loudly.

I was about to find out, it seemed. Mike had spotted us and had pushed some lady out of the way while storming in our direction.

"I knew it! You are seeing him, aren't you, Ashleigh? I guess you really have resorted to taking desperate measures," Mike practically yelled, drawing the attention of several passersby.

Pulling away from me, Ashleigh jutted out her chin defiantly. "Calm down! I'm not seeing Brad, ok? He's my boss."

"Bullshit! You were hugging him! I saw you!" Mike's nostrils flared. "I get how it is. I didn't have enough money for you, is that it? You needed someone rich, even if it meant using Brad Townsend for his money! Bitch!"

I had had enough. I drew back my arm and hit the whiny bastard in the face. "Get a fucking clue," I spat, satisfied to see a dribble of blood running down his lips.

Mike retaliated and tried to take a swing at me but I had seen it coming from miles away. I stepped back and blocked his fist quickly before sending a deft uppercut into his solar plexus.

"Don't fight someone bigger and stronger than you," I said conversationally. "You're not likely to win."

Doubled over on the floor, Mike moaned something that sounded like "fucking hell."

I returned my arm to Ashleigh's waist and we left Mike fuming behind us. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw the unconcealed rage burning in his eyes. I wondered if there was even more to the story that I didn't know.

-19-

Maddock and I were sitting in his office a week later. We were mulling over the racing schedules, though neither of our hearts was really in it. It just seemed impossible for me to even contemplate racing some of the other horses when I felt so distanced from the activities on the farm. Both Kelly and Maddock had everything well under control and I had began to slowly drift away from the trackside activity altogether.

The only horses that I was actively involved with were my father's colt and Princess. I suppose the long walks with Pride counted too, although the stallion was more of an escape mechanism than anything else.

A few days previously, I had looked over the new colt's registration papers and had gone the age-old route of naming the horse using a combination of the sire and dam's names. He was out of Executive Decision by Directional. Inspiration, or some variation thereof, had hit me.

Executive Director was an appropriate name for the horse. It wasn't related in any way to the farm its self and had nothing to do with royalty. I was happy and Maddock was just glad that we had named him at long last.

"You father's hardly around here any more. I don't need his only son to suddenly disappear too." Maddock suddenly put down the paperwork he was looking at and gave me a stern look.

I blinked at him, feigning confusion. "I'm not going anywhere, Ken."

"Don't bullshit me. I know that your heart's not in it anymore. If I didn't know better, I'd say that you're only around the stables for one reason."

"Oh? What would that be?"

Maddock's eyebrow lifted. "Ashleigh Griffen."

"Now that's bullshit," I said, hiding my surprise. Was it that obvious? I wasn't even sure how I felt about her, but he was right that she was my main motivation for being there at all.

"There's something about the way you look at her that reveals the truth, son. It's just a dammed pity that she's oblivious to it." Maddock heaved a woeful sigh. "Ah, young love."

I rubbed my temples and stood. "I'm going before you suggest I marry her. I think I'll work with Ed."

"You've given him a nickname! Who are you and what have to done with Brad Townsend?" Maddock exclaimed, grasping at his chest in fake shock.

As the door shut behind me, I could hear him whistling some popular love song. It was almost enough to make me rush back in there and smack him.

There was truth in his words, but I wasn't about to act on my rather illogical feelings.

*~*~*~*

The look on Ashleigh's face was one of pure radiance as she prepared to sit astride Princess for the first time. The young filly was saddled up and Kelly had placed a mounting block in the small oval where the yearlings were trained.

Over the past few days, Kelly and Ashleigh had slowly gotten Princess used to Ashleigh's weight on her back, but they hadn't followed all the way through yet.

I stood to one side of the filly's head while Kelly held a lead rein on the other side.

"Here we go," Ashleigh said and stepped up on the mounting block. She placed one hand on Princess' neck to soothe her before leaning over the saddle, her full weight on the filly's back.

Princess stood calmly, her ears flicking back as she listened to Ashleigh's voice. I stroked her face anxiously as Kelly nodded to Ashleigh.

As smoothly as possible, she swung her leg over and sat tall in the saddle. When Princess barely reacted, Ashleigh leant slowly over to rub her neck and tell her what a good girl she was.

"Nice one, Ashleigh. I hope Ed does just as well for you," I grinned at her.

She slid from Princess' back and gave me a sassy look. "I don't know. Maybe he'd do better with you. Male bonding and all."

I was taken aback by her suggestion. I had never been the first person to ride a horse. It was work that I had never really been interested in. While I was working with Ed, I had tossed around the idea of riding him, but it had always been a whimsical idea. One that I had never taken seriously.

"I don't know…" I couldn't think of a reason to give her that didn't sound like I was too chickenshit to ride Ed. Instead, I just shrugged and said, "I'll leave that honor to you."

Ashleigh gave me a strange look, but didn't say anything. I wondered what she wanted or expected from me.

Ed's session went well. As far as I noticed anyway. My thoughts were filled with Ashleigh's suggestion and my own reluctance to ride him. It was fear that kept me off Ed's back, but of a different kind. I wasn't scared of falling off him. I was scared that I might become attached to him.

I glanced at the bay colt while Ashleigh dismounted. I couldn't start liking him. It would only lead down a road of disappointment and dreams that fail to come true.

*~*~*~*

That evening, Ashleigh and I relaxed in a plastic set of chairs outside the training barn. A soda rested in her hands; a beer in mine.

I still hadn't gotten used to the fact that we could actually relax together, but I wasn't going to say anything to her. I was starting to wonder when the illusion was going to fall apart.

"All in all, it was a pretty successful day," Ashleigh sighed and sipped at her drink.

I just nodded and stared at the setting sun. It seemed like something else was setting too. A shadow had fallen over me since we'd worked with Ed.

I felt her eyes on me and I turned to look at her. "What?" I asked, knowing what was coming.

"Something is bothering you. It has to do with Ed." She stared fixedly at me, hazel eyes searching.

Shaking my head, I tried to brush it off as nothing. "Don't worry about it."

"Too late. Talk to me."

"It's nothing, really. You're concerned over nothing." I hoped that by looking directly at her that she would drop it, but I was wrong.

"No, it's not nothing, Brad. You've been strange since I suggested you ride Ed. I know you weren't scared of him, so what is it? Why did you refuse to ride him?"

I was starting to get irritated with her on top of the mood I was already in. "I'll tell you that when you tell me what really happened between you and Mike!" I snapped at her. I had no idea where it came from. I hadn't even been thinking about it.

"I already told you, dammit! What else do you want from me? A fucking manuscript?"

"The truth would me nice. I'd love to know why I had to punch him a week ago."

"You let your ego get in the way! You didn't have to hit him!"

I gritted my teeth and stood up to face her. "No more bullshit, Ashleigh! I'm sick of it."

She jumped up too and hurtled the contents of her glass in my face. "Don't even try to pretend that you know what's going on here. You don't."

"How can I know? You don't fucking tell me anything, do you?" I ignored the sticky liquid that ran down my face. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of reacting to it.

"You don't tell me anything either! Why was riding Ed such a big thing to you?" Ashleigh suddenly went from a raging inferno to a simmering ember. She sat down, deflated but still extremely tense.

I just shook my head and looked away from her. I didn't know what so say anymore. I felt drained to the core and I could feel my hands shaking from the emotions that were pumping through me.

"Old habits really do die hard," Ashleigh muttered. "I thought we were… whatever we were. I guess I was wrong."

"Don't expect anything from something you can't even define," I told her and walked away before she could see the look on my face.

-20-

I lay in my bed that night and replayed the fight with Ashleigh over and over in my mind. It seemed to be just one huge venting session, but it was also so much more than that. I was beginning to think that Ashleigh really did want something more from me.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I dug my palms into my face. It was well past two in the morning and I was deluding myself that Ashleigh gave a shit about me.

I knew that any chance of me falling asleep was pretty much nonexistent. I flipped on my light and got out of bed. In my bathroom, I splashed water over my face and then looked up at my reflection in the mirror.

The face that stared back at me was a mere shadow of the reflection I was accustomed to seeing. There was no arrogance or even confidence in my features. Instead, I saw a softness and vulnerability that looked out of place.

Sweeping my dark hair back, I stared intently at the stranger that I had become.

Suddenly, the phone rang from beside my bed. I rushed to pick it up, expecting something to be wrong with one of the horses.

"I don't think I can get to sleep until I speak to you." Ashleigh's voice sounded faint across the telephone line. 'I hope I didn't wake you."

I lay back down on the bed and said, "You don't need to worry about that. I've hardly slept myself. What do you want?" It came out sounding harsher than I intended.

"I… this is crazy. I should go…"

"No!" I practically yelled before she had the chance to hang up. "We do need to talk."

There was a pause on the other end of the line before she said, "I didn't mean to pressure you today. That whole thing was my fault."

"No! Oh, god, no! It was totally mine. I was in a pissy mood and I took it out on you." For some reason, I couldn't bear the thought of her blaming herself for that afternoon.

"So, I wasn't wrong then."

"No. You weren't. And I apologize."

"But that's what I called you for!" Her laugh made me relax instantly. I started to hope that it was all going to be ok.

Propping my head up against the pillow, I said, "I'm very glad you called anyway. It's quite coincidental that we're both awake."

"Not really. I kind of expected… or hoped that you'd be up now. I need to tell you about what really happened with Mike."

I almost dropped the phone. "You don't have to tell me, Ash. Really."

"It was more than just his obsession with money and owning a percentage of Wonder and Pride. He was my first real boyfriend, you know. We met each other when we were still finding ourselves. I thought it was going to be perfect having a husband with the same interests that I had, but that wasn't really how it turned out.

"Mike… I left him because I took a good look at him one day and realized that I didn't love him. Not one bit. I knew that if I were to marry him, I would be forced into becoming someone I'm not and living a life I had never wanted for myself. Sure, I love the horses. I love being a jockey, but there's so much more out there too! I didn't want to get stuck in a niche."

It was like she was singing my song. All I had started to feel about my own life the past few months was echoed in her words.

"I understand that better than you could possibly imagine," I said.

"I remember what you said about not wanting Townsend Acres. We are both very messed up individuals," The laughter in her voice wiped away the seriousness of her words. "Brad, I don't know about you, but I'm suddenly feeling incredibly tired."

"I didn't want to ride Ed because I am afraid of getting close to him," I blurted out. "Bad things happen to horses I care about."

"I felt the same way when I moved to Townsend Acres," Ashleigh said, her voice gentle. "I had promised myself that I would never fall in love with another horse again, but then I met Holly. And Wonder was born. That's probably why I fought so hard for her. I didn't want to loose another horse I cared about."

"I had never thought of it like that," I muttered and felt like a real bastard. I had been so driven to tear her away from that filly that her feelings toward her didn't really matter.

"No," Ashleigh stated. "I didn't expect that you had."

"I…"

"Good night, Brad." She cut me off softly and I heard her hang up.

I set my own phone back on the stand and switched off the light. I closed my eyes and fell asleep instantly.

*~*~*~*

"I hope you apologized to her," Ken Maddock said in greeting the next morning.

I shot him a look over my mug of coffee. "You're too damn nosy, you know that? And she apologized to me… or did I say sorry first?" I shrugged.

Chuckling, Maddock said, "I have to have something to amuse me now that it's quiet around here. I miss not being part of the Triple Crown buzz."

"Uh huh. So you decided to tune into The Brad and Ashleigh Show? Well, sorry to disappoint you. I don't think she feels that way about me." I picked up a small horse figurine that was sitting on Maddock's desk and tossed it in the air.

Snatching the tiny horse away from me, Maddock said, "Leave that alone. It has sentimental value." Setting it down in the exact spot I had taken it from, he continued, "And how do you know that about her anyway? Did you ask her?"

I laughed. "No! Why would I? I don't care either way."

'You're lying to me Brad. And give Ashleigh time. She might just surprise you."

*~*~*~*

Later that day, I stood outside Ed's stable and looked in on the grazing horse. I didn't know why, but I suddenly felt determined to be even more involved with him. Perhaps Ashleigh's words had affected me. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Ed was really my father's horse and I wanted to prove something.

"No more bullshit, Eddie. From now on, you're going to be my priority. I don't have much else, that's for damn sure." I reached out and stroked his mahogany neck.

Suddenly, a voice echoed down the aisle that made me cringe.

"Brad! There you are! I've missed you so much, baby!" Lavinia's arms were flung around me before I could even react to the sight of her. "I made such a big mistake last year! Well, now you don't have to worry. I'm here to stay!"

I tensed and gently pushed against her. "It doesn't quite work like that."

"Look, I know I said some really bad things, ok? We can take it slow…" She took a good look at me for the first time and her forehead furrowed. "What the hell has happened to you?"

"What do you mean?" I stepped back and looked down at myself. I was wearing an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt that had also seen better days. Not quite my former look of chinos and neatly pressed shirts. I could see why she had reacted like that. "Ok, so I'm not dressed in overly-priced clothing. What's the big deal?"

She enveloped me in a perfume-scented hug, saying, "Oh, poor baby. I knew you needed me! You look terrible!"

"Don't touch me! Don't fucking touch me!" I yelled and flung her arms from me. "I've barely thought about you in the past year! I think you'll find that I'm probably not the same person that you left all those months ago. He might have taken this bullshit from you, but I certainly won't!"

Lavinia backed off totally. Her face paled considerably. "You're right. You have changed. It's Ashleigh Griffin's fault! That whore! I heard about her and Mike Reese. She probably came running to you, didn't she?"

Something in me snapped when I heard Lavinia say the words 'whore' and 'Ashleigh' in the same breath. "You're the whore! What happened anyway? The asshole you left me found someone richer and prettier? Or did you just get bored?" I shouted at her with my fists clenched. I didn't even give her time to respond. "How fucking typical of you, Lavinia. To come running back with your tail between your legs. Well, screw that! Go find someone else's life to fuck up, you hear me? Fucking leave!"

It was immaculate timing. As Lavinia turned to go, Ashleigh walked into the barn.

There were no words to describe the look on both of their faces.

"Hello, Lavinia," Ashleigh finally blurted, sounding as collected as possible. I felt so proud of her.

"It's all your fault!" Lavinia drew back one arm and slapped Ashleigh in the face. She then strode away making little huffy noises.

Ashleigh held her cheek in one hand and swore under her breath. I was beside her in moments and placed my hand over hers against her face.

"I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. She just stopped by…" I slid my arms around her and held her shaking body against mine. "This is for the last twenty four hours," I murmured against her hair. "I wish I could make it all up to you somehow."

Ashleigh rested her head momentarily against my chest. "Don't worry about it. She's just lucky that I didn't hit her back."

We both laughed halfheartedly and I slowly let her go.

"What did she mean anyway? What's all my fault?" Ashleigh said, suddenly awkward.

"Apparently, my shabby attire and my lack of interest in her. Well, she's always blamed you for the last part." I shrugged like it was nothing.

Ashleigh didn't push me for more details. She just said, "Huh. How about that," and walked down to Pride's stable.

I stared at her and felt something in my chest tighten. Was this what it felt like? It really seemed possible to want someone so badly that it physically hurt.

If only she felt the same way.

-21-

June rolled around and Pride was ready to work. Obviously, Maddock planned on taking it slowly with him. It was still debatable whether he would ever race again though.

"Just jog him around today and let him stretch out his legs. All those walks seem to have done him good, though." Maddock met Ashleigh and I by the rail.

With Pride's reins clenched in one hand, Ashleigh looked nervous. She nodded tightly at Maddock and said, "Trust me, we're not going to take any risks."

I lifted her easily into Pride's saddle, feeling my own nerves start to kick in. That workout, no matter how slow we were taking it, was so, so important.

As soon as the big chestnut set foot on the track, his head lifted and he snorted excitedly. He tried to move out right away, but Ashleigh held him back and leant forward to whisper something in his pricked ears.

"At least Pride hasn't forgotten he's a racehorse," Maddock said with a smile. He was the only one that didn't seem too worried about Pride. Maybe he knew better than Ashleigh and myself.

We both watched quietly as Ashleigh trotted Pride along the rail. The stallion hardly looked like he'd been out of work for seven months, that was for sure. His movements were fluid despite his eagerness to go faster.

"He hasn't changed a bit, Ken!" Ashleigh stopped Pride beside us after completing a few circuits of the track.

Maddock looked pleased. "I don't know him as well as you do, Ashleigh, so I'm happy that you're happy. We'll see how he goes, but he might just race again."

I walked beside Ashleigh while she lead Pride back up to the barn. "Things are looking up," I said.

"Yeah, they are." Ashleigh had a thoughtful frown on her face. "Do you think he'll race again?"

"Sure, but that's not what I'm concerned about. Racing is one thing, Ashleigh. Winning is another."

She glared at me. "I get it. You just want a horse than can win. Never mind that fact that it took him seven months before he was even close to ready to be ridden again."

"Don't be stupid. That's not what I meant so stop trying to twist my words," I snapped back. "We have to be honest with ourselves here though. What if Pride is past his prime and he never wins anything more than a second rate allowance race? We can't just keep racing him for sentimental reasons!"

"I know all that! And I don't just want him to race for the sake of it like you seem to think either!" The small smile on her face gave away the fact that she wasn't that annoyed with me.

I relaxed. "You know, we really should stop disagreeing with each other."

"I know. It's very unproductive. But, you should tell yourself that too," Ashleigh stopped Pride and began to untack him.

Kneeling beside her, I carefully began to unwrap the bandages on his legs and roll them up neatly. "There you go, making me into the bad guy again." I swatted at her boot with my free hand.

"Aren't you?" Ashleigh looked down at me, one eyebrow raised. "I thought that was your assigned part."

"And you're the poor kid who protects all the helpless horses from my evil ways! I can see it now. We should make a movie of it!" I started laughing so hard that I almost dropped the bandage I was rolling.

It was Ashleigh's turn to give me a swat, only hers was considerably harder than the one I gave her. "I think you've lost your mind, Brad."

"I think I might just agree with you," I stood up and rested an arm on Pride's neck. "I guess you have that effect on me."

From the expression on her face, I could tell that she wasn't sure how to take the ambiguity of my comment. I decided to leave her guessing and grabbed a brush. "You're going to have to show me how to groom a horse properly. It's not one of my better skills."

"You worry me, you know that?" Ashleigh rolled hers eyes dramatically and picked up another brush. She began sweeping it in smooth strokes over Pride's body.

Huffing, the stallion rested his big head against my shoulder. I scratched his ears. "I think he likes me," I said softly.

"You've got big shoulders. Basically, you're just a nice pillow for him." Suddenly, Ashleigh's cheeks deepened in color. She turned away from me and made a big deal out of combing her fingers through Pride's tail.

I watched her silently and wondered what was going through her mind.

"Seeing as he likes you so much, you can turn him out." Ashleigh tossed the lead rein at me and quickly walked away looking flustered.

With a small chuckle, I leaned against Pride's warm shoulder. "Is it my imagination, or does she think I'm sexy?" I asked the horse.

Pride snorted and shook his head.

"What do you know anyway?" I frowned at him and lead him from the barn.

*~*~*~*

Ed knew something was up when I lead him out from his stable a week later. It was going to be the young horse's first time out on the training track and I was going to ride him.

Kelly wasn't going have do anything more than walk, but I felt oddly nervous. I patted Ed as a feeble attempt to calm my nerves down.

Prancing beside me, Ed flung his head around excitedly.

"Somebody's full of himself this morning. And I'm not talking about you." Ashleigh had just finished getting Princess ready. She leant over the filly's door and grinned at me.

I knew that Ashleigh was beyond thrilled to be working with Princess. Maddock and Kelly understood that and promised her that she would have a big say in the training process.

"Eddie's a great horse. Next year's going to be a good one." I put my helmet on and fiddled with the strap.

Ashleigh gave a curious look. "It will be. You think you'll stick around long enough?"

"I have nowhere else to go. Besides, I'm starting to find a few reasons to stay," I said and looked at her suggestively.

"Sure you have. It's a big mansion, a great yearling and no other options," Ashleigh replied in true form.

We lead the horses down to the track and I felt a twinge of frustration toward Ashleigh. Things between us would be a whole lot simpler if she would just open her eyes.

I understood that she probably had some issues with me. I understood that it was hard to just forgive and forget all that I had put her though. But, I wanted to show her that I wasn't going to deliberately hurt her again. I had thought that all we'd been through was proof enough of that.

I didn't have time to dwell on my thoughts though. Maddock was soon giving us detailed instructions about the yearlings' training session with Kelly adding in her two cents.

"Remember, be prepared for anything. There's no telling what they'll do out there," Kelly told us. '"You'll go one at a time with Dominator and Mark."

I felt like one of the staff as I went out first alongside Dominator. No one treated me like the owner's son and Mark even kept up a steady chat while we walked down the harrowed oval.

Yes, things had changed.

Ed tried to break away from Mark's hold on his lead rein, but the exercise rider and his mount were veterans at keeping control of unruly, young horses.

"He's got some spirit," Mark grinned.

We completed two laps of the track when Maddock called us aside.

"That's enough for today. He's had a good look around at everything," Maddock said and unclipped the lead from Ed's bridle.

Without warning, the colt reared, throwing me out of the saddle. I didn't see much else as I lay there curled into as tight a ball as possible. I felt Ed's hooves brush past my head and I sent a silent prayer to whoever up there was listening.

"It's ok, son. He didn't get you, did he?" Maddock's face loomed over mine. He held out his hand and helped me up.

"No. I'm fine," I mumbled and stared at Ed.

One of the grooms had managed to calm him down marginally. His sides were darkened with nervous sweat though and I could see one eye rolling in all directions.

My hands were shaking and I clenched them into fists. Blasts of pain shot up my back.

Ashleigh, after giving Princess to Kelly, had rushed over. "Are you ok?" She touched my arm gently, concern in her eyes.

"Fucking fabulous. Thanks," I couldn't help but feel angry at myself. Any decent rider would've been able to stay on Ed. I turned to Maddock. "Get Mark to ride him in future. I'm done."

Before he could say anything to me, I strode away, cursing under my breath. I felt so incompetent, so useless. Ed was basically my colt and I wasn't even able to stay on his back!

"What's this bullshit?" I didn't even notice that Maddock had followed me until he grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him. "I refuse to put up with any self-pity act from you, hear me?"

Glaring at him, I tensed my jaw and spat, "Come on, Ken! You know that I should've stayed on that rear. I'll just ruin Eddie if I keep riding him!"

"I get it. You don't need to explain anything to me, Brad. Ed's important to you. Or, at the very least, you want him to be important. Well, I have news for you. That's not going to happen until you face reality! You will fall off. You both will make mistakes! He's not just suddenly going to turn into a racehorse.

"Now, I get that you were never that involved with this part of their training. You never had the patience. But, if you really care, it's time to grow up!" Maddock's expression was furious.

Speechless, I just looked at him, my jaw slack.

"You've come so far, son. Don't disappoint me now," Maddock took one last glance at me before turning and walking back to the track.

-22-

"I hate representing the farm at stuff like this," I whispered in Ashleigh's ear. It was a few weeks after my fall on Ed and we were at a pre-Belmont party. The owners of Charm Song had sent Townsend Acres an invitation and I was forced to attend. I didn't want to go alone, so I dragged Ashleigh with me.

"Yeah, but at least they have good food. And we don't have to worry about overhearing people trashing our horse." Ashleigh smoothed back a renegade strand of hair.

I looked at her appreciatively. She was wearing an emerald green dress that did wonders for her lithe body. I made a mental note to drag her out more often. If she would let me.

"Tell me again, why are here?" Ashleigh asked, glancing around the large room.

"To socialize with people and promote Townsend Acres," I said in a put-on voice.

She rolled her eyes. "I may have to kick off my shoes soon. My toes are cramping."

"I doubt anyone will notice," I glanced down at her pumps. "They'll be too focused on other… uh… things." Letting my gaze drift back up to her face, I smiled suggestively.

Sadly, she didn't notice. Her focus was on a certain guy standing across the room from us.

Mike Reese. How unexpected.

I decided then that if I had to hit him again, I would.

"Oh, god. Now he really will think we're a couple." Ashleigh looked so worried, I had to laugh.

"Let him. Maybe he'll get over it and leave you alone," I told her. I personally had no problem with that at all.

A fast song started playing and I seized the opportunity. Grabbing Ashleigh by the hands, I said, "Let's dance!"

She tensed up, but I dragged her to the dance floor anyway. I started moving to the music and singing along as if it was something I did often.

Standing as stiff as a board, Ashleigh just gave me a dear-in-headlights look. "I can't dance!" She yelled.

"You think half these people here can?" I looked pointedly at an underdressed woman who was doing something very strange with her arms.

Ashleigh kept darting looks toward Mike, who was chatting to some breeder that my father associated with.

I was getting irritated with her paranoia and pulled her toward me. "Forget about him, ok? Let's dance!"

"I will kill you for this, hear me?" She grumbled and started moving to the beat a little.

Soon, she was getting pretty into it. Another popular song was next and Ashleigh even started singing along.

"I'm getting a drink," I told her.

"Don't leave me here alone!" She gasped and followed me to the punch bowl.

I served us each a glass and Ashleigh chugged hers down and immediately filled the glass again. "This is good stuff."

"Yeah and it's probably got all kinds of things in it." I smirked at her. "Go easy!"

"I don't know. I like it. What's so bad about punch anyway?" She tipped the glass and I watched, fascinated, as the contents disappeared.

"Fine, don't listen to me. See for yourself." I shrugged. If Ashleigh got drunk, at least my evening would be entertaining. And she would stop caring about Mike.

After she'd had her fourth glass, she grabbed my hand. "I want to dance some more!"

Well, a few drinks didn't hurt her rhythm. She bounced to the beat, her hair flying loose from the style she'd done it in.

When a slow song started playing, she didn't stop as I expected her to. Instead, she put her arms around my neck and looked into my eyes. "Come on, Brad. You want Mike to think we're together."

I raised my brows and slipped my arms around her. "If you insist."

Something about holding her like that just felt so right. That ache in my chest started up again as we swayed to the music.

And then Mike Reese just had to come along and ruin it.

"I knew it! How predictable!" Mike had managed to find his way to our sides without either of us noticing. He looked like he wanted to cause another scene.

Ashleigh blinked at him for a few moments before she said, "Oh, piss off. Lavinia's free if you're interested."

"Yeah. I think you two would make a wonderful couple." I smiled at him and then resumed dancing with Ashleigh.

I think he stood there for a moment more before sulking off.

Putting her head against my shoulder, Ashleigh murmured, "You really do have nice shoulders." She ran a hand along my chest and sighed.

I had to remind myself to breathe as she turned her eyes up to my face. She cupped my jaw in her small hand and said in a seductive voice, "I think I'm going to vomit."

I managed to get her to a well-located bush before she did just that. I stroked her back and told her it was going to be ok.

"Ugh, I feel better." She staggered back and almost fell into the pool.

Catching her, I grabbed a discarded napkin from a table and held it out to her. " I think you may want to use that."

She made some sound of acknowledgement, but didn't take it from me.

Awkwardly, I dabbed at her lips and pushed her hair back from her face. "Can you walk to the car?" I asked her.

"Yes!" Ashleigh started to walk forward, but nearly fell again.

"I think not. This is my fault. I should've given you soda." I gently picked her up and walked to the car.

"Brad, don't let my parents see me like this," she moaned. "Please?"

I frowned. She had a point, despite the fact that her words were slurred. "Promise me that you won't hate me tomorrow when you wake up in my spare room. Ok?"

"Hmm…" Her head lolled against my chest.

Carefully, I opened the back door of my car and lay her down across the seat. 'We'll be home soon," I told her.

When we reached Townsend Acres, I carried her upstairs and put her on the spare bed. I tucked the covers around her and fluffed the pillow under her head.

After double checking that she was ok, I shut the bedroom door and fell in bed.

*~*~*~*

When I woke up the next morning, I found the spare bed empty. Walking down to the kitchen, I found my unexpected guest slouched over the kitchen counter. She had a big glass of water in her hands and was staring blankly at it.

"I hear that you're supposed to drink water to cure hangovers. Staring at it isn't going to help you." I pulled up another chair and grabbed a muffin from the basket.

Ashleigh glanced at me with a tortured expression on her face. "Why did you let me stay here? It's bad enough my head is splitting but…" she suddenly stood up quickly, nearly knocking the glass over. "Oh, crap. Crap! My parents!"

"What about them?" I asked and ran my hand through my hair. I could feel that it was in it's usual state of post-sleep disheveledness.

"They are going to assume I slept with you! I have to go." Ashleigh stormed from the room and I had no choice but to follow her.

"They should know better, Ashleigh!" I called after her. "The whole racing world knows how much you hate me."

She shot me a confused look and grabbed her coat and shoes that I had discarded at the foot of the stairs. "Please, just take me home. Now."

*~*~*~*

When I dropped her off at her place, she rushed inside without looking back at me.

"Fuck!" I hit my steering wheel hard and drove back down the drive, knowing that she wouldn't want me to hang around.

I wondered what she was telling her parents right then. I wondered if she was right in her assumption that they thought she'd slept with me.

Whatever connection we had made the previous night had been shattered by my own generosity. I knew that I wasn't suddenly going to become the golden boy in her parents' eyes and that they would assume the worst from me.

It just didn't seem fair. None of it.

-23-

I watched the Belmont by myself in front of the flat screen TV that I'd hardly used since I'd bought it a year back. I had a bowl of pretzels in my lap and a beer in one hand. I considered both to be good company considering I had no other options.

Charm Song was, thankfully, defeated in the final furlong by some long shot that I hadn't heard of before. I was glad to be saved from the hype of another potential Triple Crown winner.

Switching off the TV, I sat there and picked at the pretzels without really tasting them. I wondered if Ashleigh had seen the race and if she felt the same way about the outcome that I did. Or if she even cared.

The phone beside me rang and I picked it up. "Brad Townsend," I said into the receiver, wondering who could possibly be calling me.

"Brad, this is Derek Griffen."

_Oh, shit._

"Hi, uh, Mr. Griffen. What can I do for you?" I asked cautiously.

He cleared his throat and I suddenly had the feeling I was in for an incredibly long lecture. "I know that my daughter did her best to defend both her and yourself regarding the other night, but I don't believe a single word she said. For my own sanity, I would like to hear what happened from your perspective." He sounded uncharacteristically stern.

I wished I knew what she had told him, but she probably hadn't anticipated that he'd call me. I decided to tell the truth. "Ashleigh and I went out and she had one punch to many. I didn't want her to go home in the state she was in, so I offered her my spare bedroom for the night."

"Did you, in any way, take advantage of her during that time?"

The man was really laying the whole thing on thick. I was tempted to tell him to drop the interrogation act. Instead, I said, "Of course not! I respect Ashleigh. I would never…"

"Now that I find hard to believe! You having respect for anyone?" Griffen laughed bitterly. "I know all about you, Brad. Your reputation precedes you."

"Be that as it may, I still didn't touch her! What are you going to do anyway? She's an adult. I'm an adult. I think we're both capable of making choices."

"Ashleigh used to be. But, I fear that you're starting to effect her judgment. I'd prefer it if you didn't encourage her to spend time with you."

I rubbed my temples. The beer that I had been drinking suddenly seemed too soft. I wanted something stronger. Like vodka. Or perhaps tequila.

"Look… sir, I can't control her any more than you can. Now, I really have to go." I pressed the little red button and set the phone back in its cradle.

Me? Influence Ashleigh? I could only wish that I had that effect on her.

*~*~*~*

The next morning, I was preparing Ed for his morning work. I had started to get into the habit of grooming him and taking him up myself.

Standing placidly, Ed turned his head back to sniff at my butt while I tightened the girth.

"Now, now. You know I don't feel that way about you, Eddie boy," I told him and tapped his muzzle away.

I was about to swing up into the saddle when I spotted Ashleigh hurricaning her way towards me. "I don't who I'm angrier with. Your or my parents!"

"Why in the name of God's green earth would you be angry at me? You do release that I was in the line of fire yesterday? I might as well have taken a bullet for you. That's how bad it was." I jumped onto Ed's back. "Your father was not happy. What the hell did you tell him?"

She shrugged. "As much as I could remember. You got me hopelessly drunk, I passed out…"

"How nice. You made me into the bad guy to save your ass. And here I was thinking we'd progressed," I said, fuming. That explained the phone call. "You know what, Ashleigh? Some day soon you're going to have to wake up and realize that you're no longer a little girl. You don't have to keep acting like one."

She glared at me with such loathing I felt tempted to apologize. But, I was getting tired of the game. Tired of watching her switch emotions like clothing. Most of all, I was tired of having to defend myself when I'd been trying so damn hard to do the right thing.

"Enough of this bullshit, Griffen. I can't take it anymore. I can't be your friend one day and your punching bag the next. I think I'm better off with you hating me anyway. At least I know where I stand." I was about to turn away when she grabbed my arm.

"I just can't…" She fumbled over words that she wanted to say. "I just can't fall from the pedestal that my family and practically everyone else that knows me has put me on. That whole incident last weekend… well it was easier for me to let them think it was your fault."

"Because I'm the token bad guy and you're the golden girl. I get that. But, dammit, Ashleigh! Don't you ever get tired of who you are?"

Her eyes darted away from mine. "All the time," She whispered.

"Well, I'm glad that I'm not the only one. Now, I need to get to the track." I lead Ed away and didn't look back.

**-24-**

It was the morning of Pride's first race back. We had chosen a small allowance race at Keeneland to avoid too much exposure to the press. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. Reporters dogged our steps everywhere we went. They tried relentlessly to catch a few snapshots of Pride in his stable. It was almost like He hadn't been away from the track.

"For God's sake! Piss off and leave the animal alone! He needs his rest before this afternoon's race!" Maddock pushed away a particularly pesky reporter who had demanded that we take Pride out of his stable.

I leant against the brick wall beside Pride rubbing at my temples with my fingertips. "I think we need some security guards," I said.

"Or a very large shotgun," Maddock grumbled.

Smiling dryly, Ashleigh checked her watch. "We've got three hours until the first race goes off. I just hope all this doesn't affect Pride. He can be so sensitive."

Pride himself didn't seem all that perturbed. He had his head tucked in the corner of his stall and appeared to be napping soundly.

"I'm hungry. Maybe if I go get food, some of the reporters will follow me and leave Pride to sleep," I said hopefully. Not that I wanted to be bugged, but it was better than our horse getting disturbed.

Ashleigh, surprisingly, said that she would join me. We had barely spoken since that last fight. I wasn't going to push her, especially with Pride returning to the races. Ashleigh seemed tense enough.

We made our way to the track kitchen in silence. Oddly, we were hardly harassed, although I caught a glimpse of Maria deBritius, that reporter who had asked us about our relationship during the Derby.

"What are you going to have?" I asked Ashleigh and pulled out my wallet.

"Something low in fat," she sighed. "I've gained a bit of weight the past few weeks."

"Where?" I couldn't see any difference in her slim build. "Maybe it's just because you've grown your hair out. I'm sure that makes a huge difference when you weigh nothing as it is."

Ashleigh gave me an annoyed look and turned toward the lady behind the counter. "I'll have a fruit salad please. And a yoghurt."

"Hamburger with chips." I pushed aside the money that Ashleigh was about to place on the counter and replaced it with my own.

'What are you doing?" She snapped, even more irritated with me. I figured that she didn't appreciate my kind and generous offer.

I tucked the five dollar bill in her hand. "Paying for you. Obviously."

The large woman behind the counter was watching this exchange with amusement. I assumed that she knew who we were and had my assumption confirmed when she said, "Mr. Townsend! Can you and Ms. Griffen sign something for me? People won't believe I've met you!"

"Of course," I took the pen that she was holding out hopefully and scrawled a passable replica of my signature on the five dollar bill that Ashleigh wanted so badly to part with.

"Are you mental?" She hissed in my ear. "That's valuable money!"

I handed the pen to her. "Now it's worth even more. Besides, you didn't want it."

"You are such a prick," Ashleigh whispered while signing the bill.

"Hey," I said as we walked away from the beaming lady with our food. "What difference does it make to you? You've still got your rabbit chow."

It was plain from the expression on her face that that wasn't the point.

I didn't care. I had successfully irritated her again. It was so good to have the world revolving as normal.

*~*~*~*

After eating, we headed back to the stables while keeping an eye out for the press.

Walking along one of the quieter sections of the backside, Ashleigh suddenly pulled me behind a corner and stuck her head around the other side.

"I knew it," She told me, ducking back behind the wall. "Those two guys are Edward Levine and David Corbin. They own Levcor Industries and recently bought a colt for a price that made headlines."

"His name's Master Currency. I know about it but, the question is, how do you?" I raised a brow at Ashleigh.

Levcor Industries had paid a small fortune for the massive horse. Master Currency, from what I'd heard, was built like a tanker. Levine and Corbin clearly had an old school way of thinking in that they thought size mattered when it came to racehorses.

Despite my skepticism however, Master Currency had won his last race with room to spare.

Ashleigh darted a look at me. "I read. Now, shut up! I think I heard David Corbin say your name."

"I heard that Townsend Jr. took over his father's business and is screwing it up. Heard they've hardly had any runners this year," Edward Levine was saying.

"From what I've heard, Brad Townsend's a real asshole. Cares more about money than anything else…"

"Where does he got off saying that?" I whispered to Ashleigh. "Levcor made a higher net profit last year than Wal-Mart!"

She shushed me.

"… it doesn't take a genius to see that racing Wonder's Pride is a publicity stunt of his." David Corbin's voice was disdainful. "Did you see the attention the media are giving them?"

"Doesn't matter, Dave. Once Master wins his race this afternoon, they'll forget all about the Townsends and Wonder's Pride."

Grabbing my arm, Ashleigh pulled me away with her nails digging into my flesh.

I shook her off and rubbed gently at the mark she'd left on my flesh. "Ok, so I don't have any fans there," I joked, trying to make Ashleigh smile.

It didn't work. "We're not racing Pride for the reasons they say! He's back on form!"

"I know, Ash. I know." I touched her side gently while we walked. "Forget about them for now. I doubt the chances are great that our horses will ever race against their wonder colt."

*~*~*~*

Master Currency won his race that day much to my annoyance. Levine and Corbin posed in the winner's circle with gloating looks on their faces and announced that they planned on running their horse in the Breeder's Cup.

I, meanwhile, dashed to the saddling paddock to help with Pride.

"If this race doesn't go well, we have to retire him. Better than making fools out of ourselves," Maddock said to me.

I was thinking the same thing." I watched a young girl across from us wave a Pride flag. "They'll turn on him if he loses."

Maddock sighed. "I wasn't expecting this, Brad. I just hope it doesn't end up being one huge fuckup."

Nodding, I spotted Ashleigh making her way to us from the jockeys' lounge. She had her helmet under her arm and a breeze was playfully snatching at her hair. The expression on her face was one of false confidence. I knew her well enough to see the tension behind her smile.

"The other jocks feel that same way that Levine and Corbin do. I got endless grief in the change rooms now," She muttered in my ear. "Apparently, Pride will burn out before the second furlong."

I forced the frown that threatened my mouth into a bright smile. "No worries," I said between clenched teeth. "Let's just get this over and done with."

When Maddock lifted Ashleigh into Pride's saddle, bulbs flashed around us. The girl with the flag cheered loudly.

Just like Pride's last race, I made my way to the trackside to watch the race with Maddock beside me.

Pride didn't look like a washed-up horse as Ashleigh jogged him down to the start. His ears were erect and his legs stuck out smartly at the ground. I felt my spirits lift considerably.

"He's not going to let us down, Ken. He has too much class for that."

When the field broke from the gate, Pride took the lead instantly. I saw Ashleigh tighten her grip on the reins and steer Pride close against the rail.

The rest of the field slowly began to fall away. None of them had Pride's speed.

By the final turn, Pride had widened his lead to five lengths. Ashleigh glanced under her elbow and steadied him again, keeping the pace, but not letting him out all the way.

"He's done it! Oh, thank God." Maddock shot me a relieved look.

"They'll say we deliberately put him in a race where he outclassed the rest of the field," I told him. "You know they'll play this down."

"Be that as it may, I think we can enter him in a big race. We'll make more long term decisions after that."

"Long term? Like a second chance at the Classic?"

"Possibly."

-25-

"Why are you doing this?" Ashleigh gave me a suspicious look from across her bowl of fettuccine.

Winking, I popped an olive into my mouth and said, "To piss your father off."

We were sitting in a well-known Italian restaurant in town. I had insisted on taking Ashleigh out for dinner. Partly to celebrate; partly because I didn't want to spend the evening alone. I was one step away from getting a cat and figured as much human company as possible would save me from going down that road.

"Well, it's not going to happen. I told him I was out with Linda," she admitted, looking slightly embarrassed.

I shrugged. It didn't mean much to me what she told her parents. I knew it wasn't going to go much further than some small talk and tiramisu.

"Look, I'll be honest with you. I don't have many genuine friends. In fact, I think you're the only person I know who has ever been honest about they feel about me." I played with my glass of wine. "It's not a good opinion, but at least I know you aren't here to be seen with me."

With a snort Ashleigh said, "Damn right. I'm here for the food. In fact, being seen with you might not be such a great idea."

"Whatever. How's your pasta?" I didn't want to hear about how the press might twist this. All I wanted was to enjoy the evening.

"Not bad."

We ate in silence for a while. I tried not to think about how much it felt like a date, even though I snuck the occasional less-than-innocent glance at Ashleigh. I kicked myself for letting my mind and eyes wander and concentrated on my seafood pasta.

"Maddock was telling me about wanting to run Pride in the Classic," Ashleigh said suddenly.

"Yeah, I know. It's too early to decide now though. And he'll need to do well in a couple of big races before then."

"I was thinking of running him in a stakes race here in Kentucky. If he does well, then maybe we can send him up to California for a prep race and the Classic." Ashleigh had a thoughtful frown on her face. "Neither of us have any commitments here now that we're out of college."

"This is, of course, bearing in mind that Pride may never do well enough to run in the Classic. He may tank his next race."

"Well, pardon me for being optimistic! I just want Pride to have his second shot at the Classic. What's so wrong with that?" She tensed up and glared at me. "And I'm not even going to consider racing him if he does badly in the next race!"

Reaching out, I took one of her hands that had been pressed against the table. "Relax, Ash. I didn't mean it like that." I traced the ridge of her knuckle with my thumb. "When are you going to stop fighting with me?"

"I'm not fighting with you," She pulled her hand away.

"Oh, really?" I chuckled and downed the rest of my wine. "You keep up this friendly banter and I might have to make you pay for dinner."

After that, she reverted back into her usual self. Well, as close to it as she could possibly be in my company.

I drove us back to Townsend Acres where her car was. During the ride home, Ashleigh sang along to a tune on the radio while she stared out the window. I had a feeling that she wasn't even really aware of the fact that she was singing aloud.

When we arrived, she turned to me and said, "I guess I should thank you for dinner."

"Don't feel like you're forced to," I pulled the key out of the ignition and jiggled them in my palm. "I can follow you home if you'd like. It's late…"

She cut me off. "No thanks. I'll be fine."

I stared at her for a moment. Neither of us made a move to open our doors.

"Brad… what are you after?" She looked away from me.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are we here? What is this exactly? What do you want from me?"

I closed my eyes and leant back against the cool leather. "All very good questions, Ashleigh. I just wish I knew how to answer them."

"Maybe you can answer something else for me then. Tell me why I don't want to open my door and get out of the car. Tell me why my hands are shaking."

My eyes opened and I reached for her hand for the second time that night. "They seem fine to me," I said and pressed my palm against hers. Our fingers intertwined and I felt something shift in my chest.

I couldn't believe what I saw in her eyes. I wanted to. So, so badly. But, I know that it was almost impossible.

"To answer your first question, I'm after something that I can never have," I said so softly I barely heard myself.

Her hand fell away from mine and then lifted up to my face. She touched my jaw so softly I could feel her fingers shaking.

"Ashleigh…" I didn't say any more as she placed her hand against my mouth.

"God help me," She whispered and leant forward, kissing me so forcefully I was almost winded.

I kissed her back, letting her know with my mouth that this was ok. Everything was going to be fine.

Her fingers grabbed at my hair and she pressed me back against the door. My own hands found her waist and held her against me. I could feel the fabric of her shirt riding up slightly and slid my hands under it, loving the softness of her skin against my fingertips.

She pulled away with a gasp and I found the hollow of her neck and kissed her there.

"Brad… enough. Enough. This was a mistake." She placed a hand against my chest and held me back. "I'm sorry. I should never have done that."

I breathed in raggedly, trying to collect myself. "It didn't feel like a mistake, Ashleigh."

"Maybe not now. May not even tomorrow, but it will be a mistake the day you find something hotter and richer to leave me for. I can't do this, Brad."

The hurt that her words caused stung behind my eyes. "Fine. Go."

She was still sitting there, staring at me uncertainly.

"Get out of the goddamn car!" I spat.

When I heard the door close behind her, I rested my head against the wheel and swore loudly. I hit the dashboard with my palm again and again.

I knew it would never work with Ashleigh Griffen, yet I had been too stupid to stop before anything happened. It didn't matter that she had made the first move. She had been the one to push away.

Tilting my head back, I gave some sort of primordial yell toward the heavens that drained me from the core.

-26-

The next morning arrived with a distinctly fuzzy lining. I slouched down to the track with a thermos fill of coffee and a scowl on my face.

"I can tell from the look on your face and her attitude this morning that you screwed up," Ken greeted me with a dry look. "It's simple enough, Townsend! I wouldn't have thought that you two needed a manual."

"How is it so simple? She kissed me last night! I wasn't expecting that. Then, she decides to push me away and tells me I'm not good enough and that I'll leave her when something better comes along." I leant on the rail, glad that Ashleigh was on the other side of the track.

Ken raised an eyebrow at me. "She's probably right you know."

"Fuck it. I give up, I really do. I'm so tired of trying to prove myself to her," I said.

"Give her time," Ken told me.

I didn't know if I wanted to. Granted, she didn't exactly have any reason to trust me after what I had done in the past, but I had thought that the past year would have changed her opinion of me. Clearly that wasn't the case.

I would even have settled for friendship, but she just had to kiss me and change my already borderline feelings about a relationship with her.

"She went well, Ken," Ashleigh called as she rode up on a chestnut filly. She, unlike myself, looked surprisingly chipper. I wondered what 'attitude' Ken was referring to.

"Good stuff," Ken said and scanned over his notes. "She's the last for today, so you're free to go."

Ashleigh nodded, avoiding my eyes. "Thanks. I need to get a bridesmaid dress for Caro's wedding."

I snapped to attention. "Caroline's getting married?"

"Yes," She replied smugly. "To Justin McGowan. I'm glad they're finally tying the knot."

"Huh," I grunted and wondered why this news bothered me so much. I didn't have any feelings for Caroline. I don't think I ever had, even when we were dating.

Ashleigh walked her filly up to the barn and I followed a short distance behind. I intended to pressurize her for as much information as possible. It wasn't like she could hate me any more.

"What's Caro doing with herself these days anyway?" I called to her.

"Law. Justin's in politics. Caro swears he's going to be governor one day." Ashleigh began to pull the tack off the filly and she turned a hose on the horse's sweaty back.

Slumping against a wall, I realized what had bothered me earlier. Caroline was a year younger than me, yet she was getting married. She obviously had a budding career. Her whole future was probably already laid out ahead of her.

A groom took the filly from Ashleigh and she grabbed her bag from a nearby hook and tossed an envelope at me.

'You're invited to the wedding. It's in September at the Bluegrass Country Club. I think she's trying to fill her quota for socialite attendance or something. I can't see any other reason why she'd invite you."

I pulled the card out of the envelope and ran a fingertip over the embossed script. "Trust me, she did it to torture me. At this stage in my life, I don't want to be the lone bachelor at an ex's wedding."

Some kind of recognition flashed across her face. "I'm sure you can drag Lavinia to the wedding," She said finally. "At least she'll look good in any photographs."

"Watch out, Ashleigh. You'll probably get forced into dancing with every available man your family knows. Except myself, of course."

"Of course." She fiddled with a nail. "Listen, you don't have to accept the invitation, ok?"

"You'd rather I didn't?" I smirked.

"It just makes sense. I don't know what Caroline was thinking."

I pretended to mull over it for a moment before saying, "You can tell Caroline and Justin that I'll be there."

The irritation on Ashleigh's face was hopefully worth the pain I was bound to suffer at the hands of her family.

*~*~*~*

The next few weeks passed uneventfully. I was counting the days until Pride's next race, the Kentucky Club Classic. Of course, the day after that was Caroline's wedding.

I went to Turfway one weekend to watch one of our older horses run in a Grade 3 stakes. Ashleigh had turned down the ride as she was presumably busy with wedding plans. Kelly had found a replacement jock, Lyle Trimble.

Meandering around the backside, I spotted Mike Reese. I was about the duck my head move on when I saw an even more familiar person walk up and plant a kiss on Mike's face.

Uncontrolled, I stormed up to them and yelled, 'Now what the fuck is going on here?"

Both Mike and Lavinia turned to look at me with surprise. It was only then that I noticed how different Lavinia looked. All the haughtiness was gone from her beautiful face. There was a softened look in her eyes that I had never seen before.

I backed off and raised my hands up in a gesture of apology. "Ok, I shouldn't have done that. It's none of my business."

"It isn't. But, you do owe me one, I suppose." Mike slid an arm tenderly around Lavinia's waist. "And I'm more than happy to explain this."

Lavinia smiled up at him like he was the best thing since leather pumps. "I'll leave you boys to talk, ok? I need to run some errands."

I blinked rapidly to clear my head and wondered what crazy alternate universe I'd stepped into.

Mike glanced down at his watch. "Want to go the bar and grab a beer? I need to tell you some things that are probably best taken with alcohol."

-27-

A country song was playing over the speakers, seeming out of place in the Irish-themed pub. There were Shamrocks everywhere and a sign boasted that the O'Reilly Tavern served "Genuine fare from the heartland of Ireland".

Mike and I found a couple of vacant barstools and Mike leaned over the counter. "Give us whatever you have on tap!"

The lusty bartender smiled flirtatiously at us. "Anything for you fine-looking boys." She said in a robust Southern drawl.

"I feel like I'm on crack. For one thing, I'm here with you. Which would normally bother me. And, for another, this place has to be the most culturally impaired pub I have ever been in." I perched on my barstool and accepted the glass of frothy dark brew that the bartender gave me.

"I love it. Plus, they have great food," Mike told me and swigged at his own beer. "So, where do I begin?"

"How about at my father's Breeder's Cup party? I think it all started then."

Mike frowned and then started speaking, "Yes. I can see how you'd think that. Actually, it started a while before that. I was getting tired of the ambiguity in our relationship. I wanted something a lot more permanent. So, I asked Ashleigh if she would consider marrying me."

"That was probably close to the time I was considering asking Lavinia that very same question," I grinned at him. It had been so long since I'd had a guy friend to share a beer with, I must've been getting desperate for company.

"Isn't it funny how that works? Well, Ashleigh said she'd think about it. I was willing to giver all the time in the world for a definite answer.

"Then, the party. I was chatting to some breeders about Pride. Now, I get that it wasn't my decision to make, but they were interested in both him and Jazzman. I was fully prepared to let you and Ash deal with it with me. The breeders wanted a joint deal with both stallions as they were both at Whitebrook. I was talking about the possibilities of this with them. It was never anything definite. Suddenly, she flipped out and headed toward the buffet, saying something about being hungry."

I laughed then at the memory of Ashleigh stuffing her face with gourmet snacks. "Oh, I remember! I had no idea she liked eating when she was stressed out until then."

Mike smiled too. "She can get like that. Anyway, after that night, everything became an issue. It may have been as a result of her accident. We began to fight over little details. I was stupid enough to bring up marriage again. I told her that I couldn't stand not knowing anymore. I wanted something concrete. I wanted to be there for her and all she was doing was pushing me away. I told her all that.

"Well, that was a mistake. The next thing I knew, she had tossed the ring back at me and Pride had returned to Townsend Acres." Mike shrugged like it was nothing, but the hurt from all those months back was still visible in his face.

"She was scared of commitment." I gazed into my beer. Suddenly, it all made sense.

Mike sipped at his and plucked a stale peanut from the bowl in front of us. "I may have pushed her too much though. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I just thought you needed to know. Especially seeing how close you've become to Ashleigh."

"Close? She fucking hates me!" I told him about the evening a few weeks back. I told him everything, possibly more than I would've shared with Ken.

"Come on, Brad. She obviously cares about you. I think a part of her always has, despite what you've said to her. That's why she turned to you of all people. She's just scared. As scared as she was when I proposed to her!" Mike called over the bartender and ordered a basket of chicken strips. "And give my buddy here something strong. In the bottle. I think he needs it."

"Aw, hon. Bad break-up?" The bartender reached out and stroked my cheek with a fingernail. "Don't worry. Evangeline's gonna make you feel all better."

"Nothing like that. He's dating my ex and I'm in love with his," I told Evangeline.

Throwing back her head with a raucous laugh, she said, "I think that calls for some of our special brew. On the house"

When Mike and I had shot glasses of stuff that smelt like a strange combination of paint thinners and gasoline in front of us, I said to him, "Before we get too smashed, how did you end up with Lavinia?"

"I was hoping to get you drunk before I told you that," Mike laughed. "Actually, I met her here. I was feeling lonely and intended to get really wasted and I saw her in the corner there. She looked so lost and alone that I practically had no choice but to buy her a drink.

"Things improved from there. We chatted about how shit dating was. Next thing, I was seeing her almost every day."

"Must be fate," I tipped back my glass and cringed as the alcohol hit the back of my throat.

Mike threw down his own drink and coughed violently. "Shit, Evangeline, what the hell is that?"

"My dear boy, if I told you that, I'd have to give you another shot," Evangeline winked.

"I'd rather not know," Mike groaned. "I think I can feel this one going to my head as it is."

I was starting to feel a similar sensation as the shooter made its way into my bloodstream. I propped my chin upon my hand. I felt wonderfully relaxed.

Mike's chicken strips arrived in a napkin-lined basket. He shoved them across the bar toward me and demanded that I help myself.

"It's so funny. Women can make you life hell, but you want them around anyway." Mike plucked a fry from the basket. "I must say though, Lav's been great. She's not the bitch that Ashleigh made her out to be."

With the slightly intoxicated buzz I was feeling, I had become rather chatty. "Please. Lavinia is a bitch. For some reason, she must just really, really like you."

"It's my charismatic charm," Mike said with a grin.

"I think you were just nice to her," I shrugged. "I certainly wasn't. And her family life was fucked up. You're like a ray of… uh…" I searched for the words through the haze in my head. "A ray of light?"

'It's 'sunshine', Brad. No more drinks for you."

I wasn't about to argue with him. The room was starting to tilt and I wondered if I'd sober up before the race.

Mike and I stumbled out of the pub and back down the street toward the track. Evangeline had offered to call us a cab, but Mike had insisted that we'd be ok.

"Hey, man?" I turned to Mike before we parted ways.

"Yeah?" He smiled at me.

"Sorry about that… uh… sorry I hit you a few months back. You know how it goes."

Mike shrugged. "I'll get you back for it one day, Townsend," He said and gave me a faux look of warning.

I just shook my head and walked off. Mike was a better person than I had ever given him credit for.

-28-

Ashleigh looked incredibly stressed when I saw her again the next week. She was standing by the track with Ken and was telling him about the upcoming wedding.

"It was so sudden! Caro's all freaked out about the caterers and the music and the flowers. My mom's trying her hardest to help her out but everything she suggests is wrong. I feel like I'm caught in the middle." She flung her hands up in the air exasperatedly.

Ken chuckled. "You think it's bad now. Wait until you get married. I've been there and done that."

"I had no idea you were married," I looked at him in surprise.

"Oh, yes. She divorced me just before I started working here. Apparently I was too busy to be a committed husband," Ken said.

Touching his shoulder, Ashleigh told him how sorry she was. "That's horrible. And probably just shows that I should never get married."

"There's a lid for every pot." Ken gave me a meaningful look which I decided not to react to.

Kelly walked up to us, a clipboard under her arm. "You'd think none of you people worked," she teased and nudged Ken gently with her elbow.

"This is work!" Ken snatched the clipboard from her and pretended to read over something. "Uh huh, that's just what I was thinking," he nodded thoughtfully at the notes she'd made.

Kelly rolled her eyes. "You are full of shit."

"If my father was here, he'd fire us all and kick me out of the house," I grinned. My father would definitely not be happy with the relaxed atmosphere that had fallen over the farm. 'That might not be such a bad thing, actually."

Ashleigh glanced at me. "Where is he anyway?"

"I have no idea. I think he's found another woman in Italy or something. Who cares?" I shrugged.

I was half hoping that I'd get a phone call from him telling me that he'd sold off Townsend Acres. But, that would leave Ashleigh in a predicament and myself without a home.

"Let's get to work!" Ken clapped his hands. "Ashleigh, you're on Special Force. Brad, go and get Playing it Straight. Now people!"

Ashleigh saluted him and I just laughed.

*~*~*~*

I was sitting in my office a few mornings later when the phone rang, startling me out of my stupor.

"Brad, this is your father. How are you?" My father sounded pretty formal for a guy who was speaking to his only son for the first time in a while.

"Good. Everything's good," I said. I couldn't help but feel slightly edgy.

My father cleared his throat. "I have some unfortunate news, I'm afraid. I'm heading back to the States to sign some paperwork. I had I reasonable offer for Townsend Acres. One that I am inclined to accept. We've had a dismal two years and I can't afford to lose anymore money…"

"What?" I demanded, cutting him off. "You've sold the farm?"

"Not without some degree of thought…"

"It can't have been much! You didn't even bother telling me about it, did you?" I was furious, but beyond that anger lay the foundations of a much more powerful emotion. Fear.

My father sounded equally angry when he spoke next. "I have given you an undue amount of day in the running of that place. Look at the shambles it has become! We should have had a Derby runner this year, but your sloppy management prevented that from happening!"

"I had nothing to do with Destiny! If you had been here, you would know that!"

"I'm not going to argue about this, Brad. I have established a promising business out here and I need the cash flow. You, my boy, are just going to have to accept it. It's abut damn time you learned to stand on your own two feet for a change!"

I didn't know what to say. My mouth opened and closed several times before the words came. "You can't do this!"

His laugh sounded oddly mirthful. "My dear son. I can do whatever I want. We have one month to sell off the stock that the buyer isn't going to take. I suggest you let all the employees know the situation." He hung up then, probably to avoid hearing what I had to say.

*~*~*~*

"Selling the farm? I never thought I'd see the day!"

I rubbed my temples and gave Mike a resolute look. "Oh, it's happening. I just don't know what to do. You're the first person I've told."

Dangling his legs from his stool, Mike stared into his beer for a few moments while digesting the information. "Man, I wish I knew what to tell you. I don't," He said finally.

"It just pisses me off that he didn't even talk to me about it first. What am I going to tell Maddock and Kelly? Or Ashleigh?" I dreaded breaking the news to her. It seemed like something that would set off her anger toward me again.

Mike shrugged. "Look man, I'm not going to bullshit you. I don't think Ken or Kelly are going to have to try hard to find jobs. Ashleigh will make a plan. It's your own situation you have to worry about."

He was right. It was something I had avoided thinking about, but what was I going to do with myself? Milk cows on some farm? Teach children the fundamentals of posting to the trot?

"Anyway, I need to run back home. Lavinia's coming over later." Mike gave my shoulder a whack. Don't stress out about this shit. It'll all solve its self."

I wished that I could believe him.


End file.
